Sunday Morning Sermon

I was thinking JB would post his Thai post this morning. However, he had to be in the hospital again this morning. This internal medicine rotation is about 65-70 hours a week. It really isn't too bad, but he only gets one full day off a week. He worked it out so it would be Monday this week in preparation for Josh and Sarah's arrival tonight.

So, while JB has not posted, I wanted to post. I, obviously, am not at church right now (no guilt trips please oh fellow family). So I am listening to Joel Osteen (Kathleen's favorite) on television. What a fantastic sermon he has this morning.

The overall message:

Do not less disappointment become the central theme of your life!

He read from II Samuel 12. This is a fairly obscure story in the Bible. If you don't know it, let me share it with you:

15 After Nathan had gone home, the LORD struck the child that Uriah's wife had borne to David, and he became ill. 16 David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and went into his house and spent the nights lying on the ground. 17 The elders of his household stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he refused, and he would not eat any food with them.

18 On the seventh day the child died. David's servants were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they thought, "While the child was still living, we spoke to David but he would not listen to us. How can we tell him the child is dead? He may do something desperate."

19 David noticed that his servants were whispering among themselves and he realized the child was dead. "Is the child dead?" he asked.

"Yes," they replied, "he is dead."

20 Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate.

21 His servants asked him, "Why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!"

22 He answered, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, 'Who knows? The LORD may be gracious to me and let the child live.' 23 But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me."

Joel wasn't saying you shouldn't grieve. There is a time for grief, and I have had my few days of grief. I know in the coming weeks I will have a moment that I again need to cry, and I will give myself permission to grieve the babies we have lost and the disappointment that our house does not yet include children. I spoke with my best bud Kristi the other day. Kristi has had a difficult journey to being a mom and she is one person that I truly share every aspect of my heart with. Kristi reminded me that it is okay to cry and grieve and let it all out. I agree totally. Kristi refuses to let me pretend that nothing happened, and I think that is very important.

However, it is time to begin to look forward. There is a reason cars have large windshields and small rear view mirrors. Looking forward is much more important than looking back.

As JB mentioned in his previous post, we believe that there are spiritual forces at work in our lives. We believe there is a devil. I believe that Satan does NOT want good for us. I believe that there is a spiritual battle occurring for our children.

I refuse to allow sadness, bitterness, or anger manifest itself in my life. This message does not just apply for infertility. I am sure that most of you who are reading this have something in your life that just sucks -- illness, divorce, sickness, financial strain, jobs you didn't get, goals you just can't accomplish. The question is: what do we do about it? There is a time to grieve. There is a time to be frustrated. There is a time to be disappointed.

Then there is a time to look forward as David did after his son died. That is what I intend to do. I can't get our sticky babies back. But I can look forward to what is next in my life and in the lives of those I love.

I hope this message does not get lost on people because you aren't infertile. (And I don't believe I am infertile -- I believe I am fertility-challenged.) Apply this message to whatever you are struggling with. You don't have to have experience infertility to understand what JB and I are going through. If you have faced grief and disappointment, you have an understanding. Apply it to your own life. Give it to the Lord and decide to trust him with the future and look forward.

Not that I quite understand how to do this. I just know I am trying to do it.

Hurry up Josh and Sarah!!! Get here soon!!!

P.S. Oh and we went and saw Over the Hedge, it was a fantatsic family movie. Only bad thing: sitting in front of an eight year old who likes to put her feet on your head. :)