As I had explained earlier, we currently have three frozen embryos. They froze 3 and kept out 3 embryos, 2 of which they transferred on Friday. The weakest of the three is labeled a "blastocyst", and if it survives, they freeze it. Blastocysts have higher implantation rates as they are "further developed".
We had been told in the operating room on Friday that our blastocyst was "not doing cartwheels." I called today to check on it and spoke with the embryologist. He told me that the blastocyst had died over the weekend. He was very kind and explained everything to me knowing that this was not easy to hear.
Now this is something that happens inside a woman all the time. Eggs fertilize and don't make it, and we are told that what is happening in the lab is what would happen inside of me. However, it is still very surreal and I unexpectedly started crying -- not only that it had died but that we now only have 3 frozen instead of our hopeful 4.
If you write me or talk to or call me, please just remind me to focus on the 2 we have right now inside of me. I do not need to be worrying about something that we may not use for years and something completely out of my control. I know that, and the few people I have talked to today have reminded me of that. I have one job: be positive, upbeat, encouraged, happy, etc. Okay, maybe that is more than one job, but you get my point. We must look forward.
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