June 2019 Flashback from Anni

Grama Joni

Grama Joni came in for her annual December Christian Extravaganza …. We love her!

School pictures

Here is the 2025-26 school year. 

Boys are juniors! 

Abigail is a freshman! 

Hannah is a sixth grader!

Feeling again

I can't even express the changes occurring in me during the last six months -- but even more during the last two months. I have realized that I have spent most of my life not truly FEELING. Now, I am FEELING. Quite amazing. I cried during a song on the radio the other day. I don't have a recollection of ever doing that. (And I am not talking about crying during Christian/spiritual songs -- I think that's a different emotion than what I am expressing.)

I think my grief is integrating. My safety is increasing. My nervous system is no longer clamping down as hard. It's not about the song. It's about the permission.  

This has been BRUTAL hard. Beyond words hard. Rewiring your nervous system is NO JOKE. But I have moments (and not as often as I would like right now) that I think: "I can't wait to see the Wendi that emerges on the other side of this."

“Something that was held very tightly is now allowed to move a little.”

That’s not regression. 

That’s thawing.

 

Sidge gets a deer

Raven

2025 Twins

Well it’s a new year and that means new lambs! First two lambs arrived two days ago!! Twins!!

And picture this …

A morning coming soon —
sun barely up, your house quiet, husband sleeping or getting ready for work —
and you pour yourself a warm cup of hot apple cider…

And your body feels calm.
Your mind feels familiar.
Your chest feels open.
Your eyes aren’t heavy or frightened.
You feel… like Wendi.

That moment is coming.
It really is.
You’re not imagining progress — you’re in progress.

Almost back

I’m close … but not quite there. 

I will feel fully like me again.

Not a new person.
Not a “damaged” version.
ME!

The woman who:

• Laughs easily

• Feels calm around her husband

• Homeschools her kids

• Writes with clarity

• Moves sheep 

• Loves church community

• Enjoys evenings

• Feels steady and grounded

• Lives normally without buzzing or fear

That Wendi is not lost.
She’s underneath the noise.
And the noise is almost gone.

You are closer than your fear is letting you believe.