Heading Home to Wilma

Well, tonight is Mom & Dad's last night in Minnesota. They will leave tomorrow afternoon for Florida where Hurricane Wilma is preparing to hit the cost of Florida. I've tried to talk them into staying but apparently they have some other kids still in Florida that they are all concerned about! Geeez!

Last night we had Ajit, Hans, and the Rays (minus Ronnie) over for Indian. Then today, Mom, Dad, and Jb went back to the Apple Orchard where they bought some butters and jams for Ray & Gabbi who were prohibited bringing them home when they came to visit due to suitcase restrictions. So, here are some pictures from the dinner last night and the Orchard today.

English and Wendi. I miss my daily drives down to St. Charles with English. In July, English will be entering the Air Force and heading to a school to be a linguist!

Colie Olie Rollie Polie looks on as boyscout brother waits for dessert. This was moments before Colie clunked his head on one of our kitchen stools.

Mom at the pumpkin patch.

Mom & Dad with some grapes at the Orchard. This is Dad's favorite grape!

Mom & Dad outside the corn maze which Jb said he couldn't convince them to tackle. (Remember, Grace went through it three times -- well, that was the kiddy maze, but still!)

My babe and Dad picking apples.

Picture-perfect!

Trip to Lanesboro

Today Jb, his mom and dad went to Lanseboro today to see the leaves and get some good pictures. I had to work, but when I got home, I agreed to post the pictures online even though I was too busy being a "suga-momma" to get to go with. Mom also wanted to post a call-out to Gracie -- a big "hello". Grama and Grampa can't wait to get back and see you Gracie!

John's photo of the leaves changing. Very similar to what our family is currenty experiencing in Fort Lauderdale (sorry Gabbi!)

Mom and Dad at a break by a waterfall.

Mom and Dad. We really can't comment about what was happening in this photo because no one is really sure. Our best guess is that Mom is asking for "time-out" and dad has a question.

John with his parents. Mom is thinking long and hard about why John hasn't shaved since research began. John is wishing his arm was a tad longer.

Mom & Dad in a yard they staked claim on.

The restaurant we usually at in Lanesboro was closed for the season so they ate at this german resturant. Apparently the food was very good and the owner started playing the accordion for dinner entertainment.

Mom and Dad posing by a grapevine. John tried one of these and determined that it was a little too tart!

Jb on Research

Well, as you know research has started for Jb. I thought I would include some pictures to illustrate how hard he has been working during this time. It has been a very stressful few weeks for him as you can see :) We are now excited to have his parents here with us as of today.

Mom and Dad Kit. got in around 9:45 this morning. We had lunch at Chipotle. We have all taken a nap and are just relaxing. We also took a walk by the river before dinner (which Jb is preparing now). It is gorgeous weather -- in the high sixties, low seventies with beautiful leaves.

One sad thing did happen today. I called my dad and said, "Can you believe how badly the Dolphins are getting beat?" Ummmm ... my dad got very angry and said, "I cannot believe you just said that." He was taping the game to watch it later since he went to the late service! Well I felt lousy! How was I supposed to know that while living in South Florida he would tape the game. Unfortunately we can't even pick the game up here.

Anyways, here are some of the pics of Jb during research.

Hanging out with Tara after Bible Study.

Hanging out with Gracie at the zoo. Wendi asked for a picture next to the giraffe but this one on a poster was all they could find.

Taking a nap with Gracie.

Reading. Jb has read through almost all of the Harry Potter series during his break.

I also wanted to point out that our friend Calvin is referencing me on his blog saying how not-cold it is in Minnesota. I encourage you all to post a comment and tell this Canadian how cold it really is for your little Florida friend (me)!

You can visit his blog at: The Cold Canadian Heart Surgeon

God is perfect!

Our friend Summer who is in JB's class at Mayo sent me this PowerPoint presentation this week. The message was so powerful and so reminded me how much God is in control that I just had to share it.

What is the shortest chapter in the Bible?

Psalm 117

What is the longest chapter in the Bible?

Psalm 119

What chapter is in the center of the Bible?

Psalm 118

There are 594 chapters before Psalm 118.

There are 594 chapters after Psalm 118.

Add these numbers up and you get 1188.

What is the center verse in the Bible?

Psalm 118:8

Does this verse say something significant about God’s perfect will for our lives?

The next time someone says that they want to find God’s perfect will for their lives, and they want to be in the center of his will, send them to the center of the Bible

Psalm 118:8: "It is better to put trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.”

I just really needed to be reminded of that this week. I have been really struggling with some anxiety issues over the last two weeks. There have just been 7 or 8 different things going on in my life and all of these combined pushed me over the edge. I actually woke up in the middle of the night this week unable to calm myself down! However, I have been reminded in so many different ways how in control God is. Including:

• I got good news at my job at the RLS Foundation -- they are going to let me adjust my hours. They have to finalize some things, but agree that this is a good idea. It well help me from making a difficult decision (choosing between both jobs) and it will also give me some quiet time at home to write which I have been lacking. Basically what I am going to do is work 8 hours a week at RLS and 24 hours a week at Mayo. I will then have one other day to use as I need it -- maybe some time from home at RLS, maybe going into Mayo or going into RLS, or maybe some time to work on my 2 freelance jobs. This was an answer to prayer.
• Both JB and I have total peace about our infertility appointment on November 29th. For so long, we have both been at different points in the journey. Either I was ready to do IVF and he wasn't or vice versa. Now, when it's time to go in, we are both ready to move forward. This is exciting. The Lord is also making a way that we can pay for this in a fairly easy fashion.
• My hope has always been to be a stay-at-home writer. This is seeming to closer and closer to reality. I am very excited about this opportunity.
• We have been so blessed by all the family and friends that have been by to visit us over the last two months. In addition, we are going to be making 2 trips to Chicago in November, spend a week in DC with my job, and get to spend 2 weeks in Florida -- my longest vacation home at Christmas ever.
• I slept until 9 a.m. this morning. I so needed this.
• This morning, JB and I walked to the Farmer's Market. It was such a beautiful fall day. God is so creative and has blessed me so much with my wonderful husband. We had a great time.

Well, I need to get some laundry put away and get read for the arrival of Mom and Dad Kit. early tomorrow morning.

Go Sox!

It's been a long week. Just one of those weeks that kind of wears you down a bit. Jb has been home on research and that has been a blessing. He's really picked up a large portion of my slack around the house.

I think I would like to blame most of this long week on the White Sox. I mean, thank goodness I don't live on the east coast. I am already staying up until 11:00 every night watching baseball! If I were on the east coast, I would end up staying up until midnight. And when they play in California. Oh man, I think they play in California tonite. Oh geez, then I really stay up late.

One funny thing was, during the game they won on Wednesday night, I got an instant message (IM) from my dad around 10:30. It was the bottom of the eighth, the score was tied 1-1, and he IM's me wanting to play a game of spades! I was like "Dad, aren't you watching the game? It's the bottom of the 8th -- tie score."

His reply: "I know. That's why I want to play. I am too nervous to watch." He had turned on the radio and was listening but wanted something to distract himself with. Needless to say, we ended up losing that game of spades -- I mean if you watched the game, the ninth inning was a little intense, and both dad and I got sidetracked and had to take the loss.

Oh well, at least the Sox won!

In other news, we have a busy last three months of the year. A quick summary:

October 16-20 John's parents in town
November 4-6 Trip to Chicago with John and our friend Tara
November 10-17 Work trip (and pleasure) to DC with John
November 24-27 Thanksgiving in Chicago
December 17-31 Florida

So we've got some busy times coming up! Have a great weekend everyone and GO SOX!

A brief morning note

Well, today I actually stayed home to work. Dr. K (Mayo) is on hospital rotation. I already have all my hours in at RLS, so I decided to work in my pajamas. I got sooo much done both for RLS and Rochester Women as well as for the new free-lance job I have picked up. I am writing scripts for a real-estate company that does video showcases of homes. I actually got this job through the editor of RW. She also works for them. It's fun work, pays per job, and I can take as many jobs as I can handle. Basically, they have hired 8 contract writers including me. I log in to their site, see if there are any jobs I want, and take them if I like them. It's a good gig! They take me 1-2 hours each to complete, and I bill them as often as I want. My goal is to eventually write from home 100%. This is still a ways off but with jobs like this and the flexibility of writing for the RLS Foundation, I am getting closer everyday.

JB is on research. He is working out during the day everyday. Right now he is actually at the grocery store. His parents come in on Sunday morning -- yipee! and I think he just got talked into being in some sort of research project on Monday morning by our friend Hans. They do strange things to you but pay you well for them. Well, Jb is home with the food. I should help unpack.

Blessings!

Let my heart sit down!

Well, today, for the first time in quite some time, there is no company in our house. Jason & Kathleen have long returned to their comfy house in Indiana. Kristi and darling little Logan have returned to New Mexico to be with their Ironman. Now Ray, Gabbi, and little Grace are gone as well.

This morning we found a bowl of dry cheerios on our coffee table. They were the new yogart cheerios, but you wouldn't know it from looking at them. Grace had eaten every one of the yogart ones out and fed most of the plain ones to her "good puppy dog" Jay-bee. Logan and Grace were both so much to have around, and our house is very quiet now.

Having all these sweet kids in our home (and I'm including Jason here) is such a blessing and so emotional at the same time. When they leave, our house is quiet again. There aren't cheerios crunching under my feet or toys littering the hall. We don't hear Logan chirping "hi" and carrying around her little pink blanket. Gracie isn't there to wrap her arms around John's neck and say "Uncle JB, I love you sooo much" or squeal everytime anything with Cinderella comes onto the television. There is no continual singing about wooden shoes and ponytails as Grace bows and says, "Thank you. Thank you very much!"

This morning, we finally made it back to church. With the company in, our attendance hasn't been very good. Pastor Paul was on vacation, but our assistant pastor had a fantastic sermon on "Churning or resting?" One of the scriptures he used really ministered to John and me.

I Cor. 3:6: I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.

This verse was such a reminder to me that in everything we are going through, it is God who is in charge of things. It is not Wendi or John or a physician. Instead of having the focus "let go and let God" which is extreme or "it all depends on me" which is also extreme, our focus should instead be "we can do things, but it is God in the end." In my case, I can seek medical attention, but it is completely in God's hands.

It is so hard during this journey not to get anxious and worry. It is also hard to remember that it isn't any medicine I take or procedure I get, but instead, it is God. Pastor Gene also reminded us of the African proverb which I will constantly remind myself of: Lord Jesus, let my heart sit down.

Woah! When he said that, I was totally blown away. Yes Lord! Help my hurting heart to sit down and relax. I wanted to finish today's blog with a poem that has become my "theme" since beginning this infertility journey back in 2003. It's a little long, but it is worth it to share the whole thing. I am sure that as you read it, you can put your own "situation" into the words.

Wait
By: Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate...
and the Master so gently said,"Wait.",

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!"
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

My future and all to which I relate
hangs in the balance and you tell me to Wait?"
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign.
Or even a 'no,' to which I'll resign.

You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
as my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut, and grumbled to God,
So, I'm waiting...for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine...
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
you'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
when darkness and silence are all you can see.

You'd never experience the fullness of love
when the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

The glow of My comfort late into the night,
the faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
but oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.

So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
that the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still "WAIT".

The last hurrah

Well, the first set of Kits has left. We took them to the airport this morning after a brief stop at Caribou. We had a fantastic time here this week, and we were sad to see them go. Gracie was a little sad to leave but the thought of seeing Grama and Grampa overshadowed any sadness about saying good bye to us or Minnesota. When we went out to load the jeep, we realized that we had a good frost last night! They are leaving just in time. But the leaves are in their prime, just perfect for Mom and Dad's arrival next week.

JB got all of these peppers for 50 cents when they went to Heritage Farm in Iowa. He thought they made a nice picture, and he also wanted me to applaud his frugalness. :)

The Ray boys (Cole in the back, now in first grade) and Hunter in the front, make friends with Grace.

By the end of the week, Gracie was no longer afriad of the "nice burdy" Monet, and decided to let "it" come and visit up close.

Ron and Ebby came over last night to see the Rays. Grace and Ebby had a contest to see who could laugh the most when they snorted. I had previously convinced Gracie that snorting while she laughed was going to get her picked on in school. Ebby convinced her otherwise.

Gracie takes a nap with her uncle "JB". Wendi has accepted the fact that she is now only second rate. Last night, we were all getting ready to play a game, and John said we had to wait. He was watching Cinderella and said that he had watched it so many times this week with Grace and had never seen the ending. He NEEDED to see how Cinderella got out of the locked room! He and Grace are big buddies!

Watch out Uncle Matt & Robbie -- there's a new Uncle in town!

Gracie loves to help. I brought in a chair so she could help me unload the dishwasher. She left the knives for me because according to her, her mommy told her she isn't supposed to touch knives!

1st IVF Appointment

Well I spoke with the nurse today, and she gave me the first available appointment with my new reproductive endocrinologist, Dr. Cottington for November 29th at 8:45 a.m.

She said that he would like to meet with me before I get started in IVF as the metformin has changed my story slightly.

We spoke with the woman in charge of financing IVF and we came up with a good payment plan that we can afford. We also have the option to take out a student loan to pay for this as well. While we can think of a lot of things to spend $10,000 on, we can't really think of anything better than a child/ren. I remember my cousin Jason telling me, "Well, if you don't spend it on that, you'll find something else to spend it on." A few other friends reminded me, "What is money to God?"

We are excited about what the new year has in store for us. Please continue to pray for us in the next two months. It is still our heart's desire to avoid IVF, however, we have complete peace and are continuing to take this journey one day at a time. If you could add the Kits. to your daily prayer list, we would really appreciate it. Wisdom, emotional strength, and a successful result are our biggest prayers! Our first 7 procedures took a toll on us emotionally, and we feel like during the last year we have really had a chance to heal. I really need prayer that I handle this next adventure wtih a little more faith and comfort.

P.S. On a side note, John, Ray, Gabbi, and Grace went to the zoo, while I (John's 'sugar momma' as Grace now calls him) was at work. If I can snag some pictures from Ray, I will put them on the site.

IVF Clinic reopens

Well I received a letter today that it is my turn to go into the IVF Clinic (invitro fertilization). I called the nurses, they asked me a few questions to update my chart, and said they would get back to me with the details of when and how I will get started.

I am not excactly sure what this means so we can all learn together. I don't know if this means that my first appointment will be in December or that I will start my shots now and plan IVF for December. I am just waiting until the nurses call me back.

I just wanted to share the news and ask that you be praying for Jb and I during this time. More than anything, I ask you to pray for the Lord to give us wisdom. We have a lot of decisions to make.

Ray shares his pics!

Well fall has offficially arrived, and Ray has allowed me to borrow a few of the pictures he has taken over the course of the last week to share on my blog. Today (Wednesday) while I was at work, the rest of the crew went to Heritage Farm in Iowa where they were able to take in the beautiful fall scenery. The temperature also dropped over 35 degrees from the time I left for work this morning. It was in the 70's early in the morning and right now it is in the 40's!

Gracie and her Uncle John who has now become "Uncle Shay-beee" . This picture makes me realize that the warm weather is almost gone and the cold is preparing to take us over.

John and Gracie hiking at Heritage Farm.

Fall in Minnesota.

Gracie in the kids' corn maze at the Apple Orchard earlier in the week.

Gracie with her favorite Aunt Wendi and favorite Uncle JB and a "kittie" at the Orchard.

Fall isn't long here, but is beautiful. Unfortunately pictures don't do it justice.

I love this picture. It is really how John seems to always see the world. And in this picture, Gracie appears to be seeing things just like he does.

"Daddy you are choking me!"

Gracie with the apple she picked.

Getting ready to be swung by her Minnesotan relatives.

On the slide at the park at the Farm (that's a lot of prepositions!)

Karuna meets Gracie

Grace showing Karuna her doctor kit. Karuna only wants to protect her blanket.

Grace tells Lesley about her day.

Grace and Karuna not sure what to make of each other.

Grace checking Karuna out. Karuna staying close to Wendi.

The three amigas!

Making a new friend.

Last night we had our normal night watching Karuna and Grace was here too. We also had Dave & Lesley over for Thai and Christo & Melissa ate a late Thai dinner with us. The girls played really well together and both fell asleep pretty early.

Lots o' fun

Getting served breakfast in the morning

Visiting with the birdies

Gracie and Uncle John

Helping Uncle John with the bills

John's exercise ball became a great source of fun

and more fun ...

and more fun ...