Big Picture, What Got Us Here

I continue to work to heal from something called "nervous system sensitization." Basically, my nervous system got "stuck" in the on position -- stuck in FIGHT or FLIGHT.

If you think this might be you, DO NOT live there. If you are going to the hospital thinking you are having a heart attack .... If you are having weird physical symptoms that you keep thinking are health related but they tell you that you are fine .... If you are having intrusive thoughts and looping until the anxiety threatens to devour you ... If you are overly worried .... If you have trouble getting out of bed in the morning (mornings can be the worst for people with a sensitized system), you MAY have a sensitized nervous system. 

It SUCKS.

But it CAN get unstuck. 

And that is the program I am in.  

I'm learning, however, that there is much more TO this stuck system than I thought. It happened for a reason. 

One of the men in my online support group wrote this piece below, and I think it does a fabulous job of helping break down the thought patterns that got most of us to where we are. His name is Matthew Lacoff-Roberts. 

Somewhere along the line, we were taught "It isn't okay to feel that."

 

Might have been by our parents.

 

Might have been by a teacher or other adult.

 

Might have come from, I'm really sensitive and this hurts too much.

 

Whatever the case, early on we learned that it's not okay to feel "that."

 

So we developed strategies and techniques to not feel those things.

 

Which in adulthood became:

• Overindulgence in food or alcohol
• Drugs or substances
• Porn
• Busying ourselves with work, pushing through not to feel
• A frenetic pace of life
• Etc.

Underneath sensitization is a root belief: "It's not okay to feel this feeling."

 

Might be anxiety.

 

Might be shame.

 

Guilt.

 

Anger.

 

Grief.

 

Whatever it is, somewhere along the way we learned, and then practiced, over and over, not feeling that thing. Because it wasn't okay.

 

Now we're learning, that's not true.

 

IT IS OKAY to feel that thing. In fact, it's human. And extremely healthy, and necessary to be fully human. To function at the highest level of our design.

 

Sensitization becomes an invitation to change this relationship with feeling.

 

We're learning, slowly: "Oh, it's okay to feel. It won't kill me. Actually, it's biology. This is how it's supposed to be."

 

Something happens. We experience a feeling, pleasant or not. We let it be there, get out of the way. It takes it's natural course of rising and falling, as we continue living.

 

Over, and over, and over, and over.

 

So when a symptom rises -- could be a thought, trigger, emotion, sensation, etc. -- remember, "It's human to feel. This isn't something I need to fight anymore. I'm ready to be fully human."

 

Fighting, fixing, feeling, fearing are just old habits: old ways of dealing with natural biology. There's no need for these behaviors anymore. We can allow ourselves to feel.

 

Over time, feeling gets easier.

 

Things move through more quickly.

 

We stop blocking our own healing.

 

And we move on.

 

Free.

 

Long-term freedom.

 

Still having the natural and normal discomfort of being human.

 

But no longer treating it in a way that doesn't make sense: no longer perceiving it as an issue to be solved.

 

Just seeing it for what it is.

 

"I'm a human."

 

Okay, sounds good 👍🏻