Tuesday, September 25, 2018

She asked me not to walk her to class

As Abigail slowly inched away from her shydom, she'd have moments like this: moments she wanted so badly to participate but just couldn't be completely present in.

I have written often on my Blog about my shy daughter. Like, very often.

Folks, if you didn't know Abigail between the time she was zero and five, and you have only met her in recent times, you just simply cannot understand the extent of this little lady's shyness.  This was beyond almost anything I have ever encountered. Not even grandparents were immune to her shyness. She wanted Dad and Mom and had trouble accepting anyone else. 

There were a few people who were able to nestle their way in. But the list was short. She was nearly impossible to win over. She stuck to her shy guns and would not let go of the triggers.

What was so hard about Abigail's shyness is that we saw who she really was. She was silly and funny and charming and adorable and so HUGE when no one was around. But bring someone close by, and she'd retreat inside of herself and we couldn't get her out for ANYthing.

Need further proof!? Check out our little gal on the first day of her homeschool co-op back in 2015 and the last day of the year. She just CAME OUT of her shell.
Okay, now keep all this in mind when I tell you what happened at co-op yesterday. Abigail came out into the gym to ask me a question before her fourth period class. I told her to hang on and I would walk her to class and this chick said: "No. Please don't walk me to class."

Me: "What do you mean?"
Abigail: "I can go myself."
Me: "Yeah but I wanted to check out what is going on in your class."
Abigail: "Well, okay, you can go check and I'll wait here. And then when you get back I'll go to class."

Translation: Mom, I don't want to be seen by you. I got this. I don't need you anymore. I'm not that shy kid anymore. 

And I'm not the only one who sees the metamorphisis. In fact, Abigail was given a role in their big production of Ruth in January where she leads the younger girls out and takes the center spot and guides them. Seriously?! The judges thought my little shy girl could do that?

Yes. 
Because she isn't shy anymore. 
She's grown up. 
The stage has passed.
And I sort of miss it now that it is gone.

Remember dear mothers. 
The challenges seem so monumental. 
But you snap your fingers and they pass you by. 
It's over so quickly. 
Hang on. 
Have fun. 
And enjoy the ride.

3 comments:

TAV said...

How do you know when to (gently) push your child to do something you think he/she will likely love, even though reluctant/fearful? Iver (3) is very clingy in new situations (very slow to adapt, although extroverted) but, after asking to do swim lessons, refused on two occasions to get in the pool with the teacher (traumatically screaming). Just wait a year?

Anonymous said...

This brought tears to my eyes. I remember her deciding if she would go with Ana, Kari and me into town to the bakery. We had sooo much fun with her...She is so full of love too! I love how God is at work in all of us to make us into Perfectly Ourselves with His friendship. He gave her wonderful parents and grand-parents to walk through this too. But oh that feeling when they begin to move on without us. Where we're heading them, but that tug of heart! She'll always be in your heart and you in hers! love Tante Jan

Anonymous said...

I was looking at TAV's question. I think my husband is one of the bravest, most adventurous people I know. Like "no fear". Yet he was telling me that when he was 4 or 5 years old his dad took him to the firestation so he could sit in the fire engine. Suddenly they turned on the siren and it absolutely terrified him. His dad had to take him out and work hard to calm him. I can only imagine what kind of little boy he was --and what God worked in his life to bring him to where he is now! Hang in there! Maybe just the walking alongside and letting them take mini steps with assurance of you nearby is part of it?