I had a VERY VERY rough Mom day yesterday. At some point, I want to write more about this. I reached out to my online community and really got some incredible support that pushed me in the right direction. It was so wonderful to handle this properly and respond properly.
But in the midst of this sea of overwhelmed, I had a few things happen that made me think: "You know, maybe I am not screwing up these kids as much as I think I am."
Hannah drew this picture without being asked. I asked her what it is. "Well, this is you and Daddy on your date. You are the red person. He is the blue person."
I am not sure when the last time was that JB and I got out on a date. But it is in her mind. And that made me feel good.
Later that day, Hannah sat down with Grama and told her a story. Grama wrote as Hannah dictated. Here is what she came up with:
Hannah Joy is a happy girl. Here are some things that make her happy:
Playing with toys is fun! Looking out the window in the car when I'm going somewhere and I see trees and animals and sometimes horses. That makes me happy too. Eating dinner and having dessert makes me happy. Chocolate cake and ice cream. Apple pie and blueberry pie. (If they don't have eggs.)
Helping my mother makes me happy. Doing laundry and animals! Sometimes Mommy cleans up and I help clean up toys and everything and if I do very good, sometimes I get Starfirsts. They are yummy. My mommy tickles me and hugs and kisses me and she does everything.
Sometimes me and Mommy go to people's house to be a vacation and that makes me happy. Edward and Benjamin and Anabelle's house.
You can read books too. My Mommy reads me a lot of books. That is fun, too.
My Daddy makes me happy. He lets me help cook dinner sometimes. He plays with me. He's the Dad and I'm the kid.
I like to play the snake game.
Daddy takes me for a ride.
We went to a family picnic one time. Grandpa (Papa Coach) and Grandma Di were there too. Indiana is where we were.
Daddy makes barbecue sauce for things he cooks on the grill. Burgers with sauce makes me happy.
Daddy tells me funny and scary stories if he doesn't have to go to work. And I feel like I'm gonna cry if they are scary. He makes me happy when he puts my blanket on and it makes me warm.
My brothers and sisters make me happy when sometimes they play with me. And when they bring me over to Grandma and Grampy's house.
Grandma and Gramdpa make me happy because they let me watch Jemima Puddleduck and my other favorite shows and give me treats!
And my doggies Arabelle and Ritter play with me and cuddle.
Now I am happy.
After writing this story, Hannah came and asked me (aka Wendi) if she could do something to earn some Starfirsts (aka Starbursts). I told her she could help me put the couch cushions back on the couch as Sidge has taken them off to make a bed in my room.
Hannah tried, but they were heavy, and she came in and said, "Mama, they are too heavy. Can I have another job?"
I told her that I really thought she could do it. "I want you to try to use your brain and think if there is a way that you can pick up those cushions."
She paused and said: "I think I am going to ask God to help me lift those cushions." Then I watched as she laid down on a cushion, folded her hands, and prayed.
A few minutes later, our intern Jacob came in and asked Hannah if he could help her. I told her this was God's answer to her prayer. :)
I am not sure if I have ever taught Hannah to pray when things are hard. But somehow she has learned this.
Truly ... God breathed on me this day and let me know I am not the most horrible mom in the world. :)