Prayin' I'm a Comin' Around

It's hard to look at yourself and know that the person you see is not the person you really are.

I want so badly for the "real Wendi" to take two steps forward. She's in there somewhere. But sickness has just kept her a little covered up.

I often tell my Aunt Connie how "sorry" I am that she has had to be here during these nine months. That I feel she did not get to know the real Wendi while she was here. The real Wendi was there prior to leaving for Christmas. But once I returned, well, I haven't been myself. Aunt Connie is leaving in June. (Thank you Aunt Connie for standing by us during this challenging time. I look forward to visiting with you in the future when I am 100%!)

But I also know that this is where I am right now. This is who I am right now. And I have to accept that and move forward. We all go through seasons in our life. Seasons when things are easy. Or hard. Or happy. Or sad.

Here's what I know:

• This pregnancy has been nothing like my previous ones. I am hormonally different. That has to be okay. I cannot look at this at an illness. This is a journey to a baby that was conceived years and years ago. This baby will be worth any and everything. 
• I am a little "down" some days. I haven't gotten really morning sick in over two weeks. But yesterday, during the day, I felt pretty down. And then, last night during dinner, I got sick. It surprised me because I hadn't been sick in so long. But it also explained why I was feeling down.
• My husband is THE MOST AMAZING MAN IN THE WORLD. He is loving me through a very hard season. He sees patients everyday and then sees me when he gets home and talks me through challenging moments. He truly has loved me when I've been unlovable.

I also want to tell all my friends and family members who are praying and thinking of me that I love them with my whole heart. I know I haven't been as "good" at replying to emails or phone calls. I'm sorry. The real Wendi is in there. Please wait patiently, with me, for her complete return. 

This last little baby will be worth it -- I know that with every fiber of my being. I can't wait to meet him/her!!