Do-over please

JB got home very late last night. 11pm I think -- though, to be honest, I'm not exactly sure when it was. I was so groggy and in that sleep state where I knew if I talked too much I'd be wide awake and unable to go back to sleep. I mumbled a hello and a good night and rolled over and fell back to sleep.

Unfortunately his alarm in Germany was still programmed into his watch and thus at 4:30am we were jarred awake. We dozed and talked a bit over the next hour. When Elijah and Isaac started chattering at 5:30am (darned time change), John perked right up. Isaac had remembered that Daddy would be here when he woke up this morning. "Daddy!" we heard him call through the monitor. "Daddy! I need my prize!" I so enjoyed seeing the reunion that followed as the boys face lit up to see their Daddy there to get them up. I am so blessed to have a husband walk this journey with me and love our boys as intensely as I do.

JB had brought Toy Story home for the boys. And while at first you could tell that Isaac thought this prize was not nearly as good as a real toy, the three of them sat together and watched the entire movie before JB had to leave for work at 8:00.

And that's where my morning really began. It was one of those mornings that I just felt like God must have made a mistake. He must have gotten me confused with some other woman when he thought I would be capable of taking care of two toddlers at the same time. Egads. I couldn't get anything right. Both boys were crying, toys were flying, the dog was whining, food was burning, and both my legs were being held onto with tons of tears and great gnashing of teeth.

With the chaos of the morning still lingering in the air, we arrived at the Base gate at 9:55am to meet some friends. Since I hadn't gotten to the market this past weekend due to JB's departure, our produce was completely depleted, and we were in dire need of mooz ve elma (bannans and apples) amongst other things. We parked our vehicles and set up our strollers. The Thursday market is only a few blocks outside of the gate so we wouldn't need our cars. Walking out of the gate is much easier than driving -- when possible.

Tina, Beth, Stebbins, and I walked up to the gate. Tina went through. Beth went through. Stebbins went through. I, did not. My favorite Turkish guard pointed out that my gate pass had expired yesterday. I guess I should be learning Turkish faster than I am since the date is written in Turkish on the ID card. The Turkish guard explained to me that he could not let me leave with an expired pass. And, he in fact, kept my pass as he sent me walking the other way. We finally decided that Beth and Tina should go on to the market. Stebbins, who had gotten her own pass aupdated few days earlier, could show me how and where to get this accomplished.

Or so we thought.

We decided to walk to the administration building since loading the kids up and unloading them would take longer than walking. Halfway there, Stebbins informed me I would need JB's orders. Okay, no problem. I can get those at the Clinic which is across the parking lot from the admin. building.

Orders in hand, I walked into the admin. building. Do I have JB's ID? No. Just his orders. Do I have my old gate pass? No. They took it at the gate. Do I have my residency permit. No. Do I have my passport? No. After much discussion with the guy behind the desk, I came to find out that I would have to get my residency permit from home and JB's ID from him at the Clinic. As for the old gate pass? They could make due without it, but I should have come in before the pass expired so that they didn't take my pass. "I didn't know when it is expired since it is written in Turkish," I said. "You could have come in and asked us or looked on the Internet to translate the date," he replied. Oh. Of course.

At that point I was near tears and told Sarah I wanted to wait until tomorrow to try to make my way through all these hoops. The hoops that you have to jump through and the fact that you don't know where the next hoop is or even how to get there sometimes, is one of the things that most drives me crazy in regards to a government run organization. It is exhausting. Everything feels so random and there are so many steps.

Stebbins was wonderful. She walked with me back to my car and pointed out the good things about the day. JB was home. The weather was beautiful. The boys were being incredibly good (lollipops in hand.) She was right. But I still needed to go home, take a nap, and start over tomorrow in "do-over" mode.

Praise the Lord for good friends. All three of the other women involved called or emailed me and reminded me that I was exactly the right Mom for my boys. That I was doing a good job. That it would be okay. They gave me the gumption to start over tomorrow and start afresh.

And so I will.