How Infertility and the military connects humans

 

Yesterday, I got to have lunch with a now-dear friend: LaShea (pictured at left with our mutual friend Linda and her little baby, Eli.) We forgot to take a picture which, for a Blogger, almost feels like we didn't meet at all. But we did, and it was great. LaShea has been an encouragement to me to keep using my voice to show Christ's love online. Two different times when I thought about getting off of social media entirely, she encouraged me to keep talking. She is a person who helps assure that I am not living in an echo chamber. She reminds me of important things that I need to keep in mind.

We were stationed in Turkey with Linda and her husband Shane from 2010-2012. After Turkey, Shane and Linda went to Germany. They met LaShea. We moved to the Azores. LaShea lives in Germany also. LaShea met Linda. 

Connected with Crystal Bowman, I got involved with an infertility book: Mothers in Waiting! Linda connected me with LaShea. LaShea wrote a chapter for the book too. We became friends. 

I love how the military and infertility and the military connects people who otherwise may never have met.

Four years ago, we had the opportunity to meet in person. Yesterday, we finally had our second lunch!

Veteran's Day

 

This is my veteran. 

Today we celebrate our veterans. 

My husband is now a veteran working in the public health sector as a physician. 

Yesterday he came home from work and told me that in almost fifteen years of medicine, he had never had a day like that one. I asked what it was that set it apart. He said: "Just the number of very sick people," he told me. 

He said that he had three codes (where you try to "bring someone back"). One had to be run in the ambulance because there wasn't a room in the hospital. He lost two of these patients. He had to tell the family. One was a wife not expecting to lose her husband. She clung to him. 

How does he do this? 

And even more so, how does he do it day after day. How does he laugh and smile and encourage parents their child is okay and then go in and watch someone leave the Earth forever. 

When he came home, we had an argument over dog slobber. I kid you not. How do you have a fight with someone over dog slobber after they've just had to tell two families that their loved one will never be with them again. 

This picture above of John briefing a group when he worked in the military sticks out to me because of the woman's head peeking out to his left.

Her name was Cheryl. When I was in Germany preparing to have Abigail, she went swimming in a Turkish ocean. Her children were swept into a riptide. She managed to save their lives only to be swept away herself. By the time she was rescued, her brain had died. John went and saw her as she was shipped to Germany to be removed from life support since Turkey didn't allow that procedure. 

I think of Cheryl.

I think of the young man my husband declared dead after an accident on the flight line in a tank. 

I think of the airman who chose suicide over the PTSD that was eating them alive and the doctor that had to declare their body deceased. 

I think of all the people John has helped and yet I can't help thinking: "How does he go back and do this over and over again?"

And then I cannot help but thinking that people in our communities are arguing about masks and whether they should have to wear them. They choose to put themselves in crowds despite repeated warnings that we need to be socially distant. 

How incredibly selfish.

In the beginning, when this virus first unfurled itself on our world, my husband found incredible support among the community. We still see and receive great encouragement, but we also see people simply refusing to do their part. They have their reasons but most involve sheer selfishness or complete ignorance. 

While you refuse to wear a mask because you don't want someone to tell you what to do, my husband will go into work and gown up and down over and over and over again. He will pronounce people dead. He will save people's lives. He will tell families that their loved one is never coming back again. He will risk himself and our family and bringing COVID home on behalf of your ignorance and decisions to not take proper precautions. 

He did it as a veteran.

He does it as a civilian. 

The greatest gift you could give MY veteran is to help in this battle against COVID. Fight with him.

Please.

Love my Military Family

There is just something about your military family. And yes, I am still in a military family even though we are no longer actually in active-duty service. 

A few days ago, I put a post up on Facebook about our Harry Potter wand "conundrum." Here is what I posted:



I had so many wonderful responses and suggestions, but a friend from Portugal (who wasn't even an intimate friend). Here is what she wrote on the Facebook post: 

Wendi, we have one I will send you! PM me your mailing address. When you go to the wand shop they pick the youngest looking child and sell to them by having them try it out. Cool things happen in the shop as the child is instructed to point the wand around the room.Then you hear "the wand CHOOSES the wizard, Mom!!!!" until you agree to buy it! LOL Outside the shop in Diagon alley there are reactive displays that will respond when you point the wand. For what it's worth, we only bought one for our youngest. (We'd been before and didn't buy.) Our youngest was too short to ride many rides (our eldest and youngest are 12 years apart) so we bought the wand so our littlest felt special.

I wrote Katherine back and offered to pay shipping. She said: 

I'll get it in the mail this weekend! No worries about shipping -- it's light! I hope it still works! Have the best time!

Or were the kiddos excited when the wand came in the mail:

I absolutely LOVE how the military takes care of each other. I also LOVE how social media can do GOOD things and not just BAD things! There is a lot of negative press about technology (some of which is from me!) but there is also a lot of good things that can happen through the connections we get online.

Feeling loved today,

A Look Back at D.C. Vacation

We arrived in D.C on Tuesday, August 24. We stayed with our good friends John and Becky. We met them at Eglin AFB when Becky and I were both childless. There are now six beautiful children amongst us. They have made MANY trips to our farm so I am sure you have seen them around and about. I actually failed to get a single pic of our six kids together, but I did capture this picture which includes our buddy William later on in the trip so I'll include that.

John and Becky's sons are in the front. That is Jonah (left) and Joshua (right)

We hung out Tuesday evening and went to bed super early. Becky made an AWESOME curry that we just gobbled up and had for leftovers the next day as well. John and Becky had a wonderful guest set up for us in their basement. After living in one tiny room, it felt like a palace!!! They are such wonderful people and a great family. We love having them as life-long friends. Becky and I realized that Isaac will turn ten this year. She and I met right before we adopted Isaac. SO NEAT!

JB also LOVED their backyard. It backed up to a nature trail. He saw SO many birds from their backyard and said it was the best birding backyard he has ever seen. A huge compliment! :)

On Wednesday morning, Becky let her boys go in late to school so the kids could play and then we decided to take off for the UDVAR HAZY MUSEUM. Neither JB or I had ever been there and it is amazing. It has the Enola Gay and the Space Shuttle Discovery among many, many other things. Here are some pictures from our day there:

Space shuttle Discovery

We let the kids decide if they wanted to try a simulator or not. These three said yes.

Our more cautious boy opted to take a turn operating the controls on a plane.

Scavenger Hunts for my kids are such a great idea. Isaac especially takes the museum on in a whole new way. It was so cool of the museum to have this for the kids.

Abigail the Astronaut

On Wednesday evening, my good friend from the Azores, Claire, came to Becky's house for dinner with her kiddos. It was so nice of Becky to host everyone. Here is a picture of all of our children:

A great picture of all the kids I love how kids can just play like they haven't not seen each other in so long.

Not a great picture, but here is Abigail with Claire. She went right to her!

On Thursday we decided to do a BIG day touring in D.C. since it was the only day with really good weather. We went just the six of us and oh did we have a wonderful day. The weather was GLORIOUS. And it was just so fun.

The kiddos at a fountain by the building housing the Declaration of Independence!

Abigail saw the Thomas Jefferson Memorial and asked, "Is that how tall he really was?"

Me: "No."

Abigail: "Even without the thing he is standing on?"

Abigail: "Is Thomas Jefferson still alive?"

Sidge: "No, he died."

Abigail: "How?"

Hannah: "Probably from oldness."

Probably one of my favorite family fotos ever!!!

We got to see the White House. We also had lunch at the famous OLD EBBITT GRILL which has been open across the street from the White House since 1856. We took a chance and showed up without a reservation and were seated right away! I love traveling in off-season time.

We did a quick jaunt around the Natural History Museum.

So fun!

There were even some Cherry Blossoms in bloom. I must admit, I really see myself in this little face.

In front of the Capitol Building

Hannah actually said, "Dad, take a picture of me with this rock. It's my very favorite rock."

When we got home from touring, everyone wanted to watch National Treasure after seeing the Declaration of Independence up close. Oh, and by the way, when we saw it, Hannah said: "That's just a very old piece of paper with nothing on it.

Here we are watching the movie!

On Friday, my good friend Stebbs who lives not far from Becky, let her William play hooky to go touring with us. She dropped him off at Becky's and we took two vehicles to the metro stop. Becky and her boys joined us for a fun day at the Bible Museum!!

Here's Hannah getting herself dressed for the day. She picks out the most interesting clothes.

The kiddos reading on the Metro ride

First up was the Bible Museum. Oh was I excited to see this!!!!

The highlight of my day was being able to see a copy of the TABURU scriptures in the Bible Museum.See all those yellow boxes behind me? Those are all the languages that still do not have a Bible in their language!

There's my Aunt and Uncle listed under the translation team!!! (Ed and Jan!) Folks the Bible Museum was simply AMAZING!!! Truly I could have spend a gazillion more hours there. I can't wait to go back.

Fun with William in the Bible Museum

Check out Abigail! Lol!

Check out this picture above of my boys walking with their buddy William. 

Stebbs put these side-by-side. This was them when we lived together in Turkey. Man oh man. Emotional.

A close up look at Hannah's outfit 

Sidge and Joshua -- these two are like two peas in a pod. (That's his mom Becky in the background.)

Hannah and Jonah. Jonah usually pops between playing with all four of my kids. He plays Legos with Isaac or goes on adventures with Abigail or does whatever it is a Hannah does.

Me with the kiddos in front of some beautiful tulips (my favorite flower!)

When we got back on Friday, we headed over to the Stebbins' family house, saying good bye to John and Becky. Ryan made homemade pizza the first night and smoked a pork butt (his specialty!) the second night. Both were sooooo good, and we had such a great time. I also got to run over and see Claire one more time and introduce her to Sarah Stebbs. (They live only a few minutes away from each other!)

The rest of the weekend was spent laying low. Chik-fil-A, Target, sword fights, video games, and just having an awesome time catching up with our friends.

Stebbins sent me out front to watch the kids playing. Major FAIL here folks. That's me -- enjoying vacation. I work hard but I am not afraid of a vacation!!!!

Graham, William, and my kids. Graham and Hannah are six weeks apart in age and really played great together!!

The three amigos. I think the best part of this picture is seeing Sidge in an Auburn sweatshirt! Roll 'Tide. Oh, wait, that isn't Auburn it isn't. Isn't it a War Eagle? 

Equal maternity leave rights for military adoptive parents

I am asking EVERY SINGLE PERSON who reads my blog to PLEASE sign this petition. It will only take you a few seconds. The bottom line: biological parents gets TWELVE weeks of maternity leave in the military. Adoptive parents get THREE weeks and this is used for all the court hearings and things that need to be done for the adoption.

We have to assume this is an oversight, and we need to bring it to the attention of those who can make the change. PLEASE sign this petition and then PLEASE share it among your circle of friends. 

Here is the link:

Equal maternity leave rights for military adoptive parents

Military Moments: When Families Come Visit

Way back in my first post, I explained some of the pros and cons of moving a lot in the military.  One of the cons was that we are so far from our families.  Sometimes, when we live overseas, we don't get to see our families at all unless we are able to make it back home.  The expense of flying and just the traveling in general is high, so it's easier in a lot of ways to just see them when we can go home to visit.  But there is something magical and wonderful about our families coming to us.

We can show them glimpses into what our daily lives are like in whatever country we live in,  We can show them places they've never been to before and experiences they didn't think they'd ever have.  I was happy last year because my mother came and stayed with us here in Spain for almost a month.  She went with us to Germany and Italy and we just had a great time.  However, a little over a year later, she came here and brought my dad with her.

I meticulously planned out their 20 days.  I wanted everything to be perfect and for them to get to experience the Spain that I love and to see things none of us have ever seen.  Thus began the most whirlwind tour of Europe that I've ever been a part of  (and also the reason I didn't have a post last week).

We went to Africa for a day, saw the Rock of Gibraltar and toured the island, spent 3 wonderful, relaxing days on Omaha beach in Normandy, had a crazy few hours driving through Paris traffic to see the Eiffel Tower, spent an entire day exploring Seville here in Spain, and countless hours just hanging out with people that I love.  I'm not going to bore you with hundreds of pictures, although I have them!  I'll just pick a few of my favorites from each place we visited, and tell you my favorite part.

Africa:  We had a tour guide to lead us around the city of Tangiers in Morocco, after a quick ferry ride from Tarifa, Spain.

Gibraltar:  Quick day trip to see the tip of Southern Spain.

Seville:  Day trip to see the Cathedral and take a carriage ride around the beautiful Spanish city.

France:  Normandy and Paris.  Just beautiful in different ways.  I loved the Eiffel Tower even though I wasn't sure I would.  I was afraid I'd be disappointed after building it up too much in my mind.

It was great to get to see my parents, and it was great to get to see new places.  It was great seeing my kids reconnect with their grandparents, and probably the first time I've ever seen my daddy on a swing!

The best part, however, was experiencing those new things with my parents.  Here is the post my dad wrote after we left Normandy.

"As I stood in the sand looking out across the channel toward England with the remains of the German fortifications behind me there are no words to express the respect and gratitude I felt for the men who poured onto this beach that June morning over 70 years ago. Not knowing if the next breath would be their last...
Their bravery and dedication to our country and those allied with us should still inspire us today. They, as well as those like my father who were fighting another enemy half way around the world, did what was called for to defeat the evil they faced. This was truly the greatest generation.
Now we have another generation of young men and women who are willing to make the same sacrifices and commitments as the brave men who fought and died here so long ago. God bless and protect them..... and God bless and protect America."

Have a great week!

--- Amanda