Military Moments: When Families Come Visit

Way back in my first post, I explained some of the pros and cons of moving a lot in the military.  One of the cons was that we are so far from our families.  Sometimes, when we live overseas, we don't get to see our families at all unless we are able to make it back home.  The expense of flying and just the traveling in general is high, so it's easier in a lot of ways to just see them when we can go home to visit.  But there is something magical and wonderful about our families coming to us.

We can show them glimpses into what our daily lives are like in whatever country we live in,  We can show them places they've never been to before and experiences they didn't think they'd ever have.  I was happy last year because my mother came and stayed with us here in Spain for almost a month.  She went with us to Germany and Italy and we just had a great time.  However, a little over a year later, she came here and brought my dad with her.

I meticulously planned out their 20 days.  I wanted everything to be perfect and for them to get to experience the Spain that I love and to see things none of us have ever seen.  Thus began the most whirlwind tour of Europe that I've ever been a part of  (and also the reason I didn't have a post last week).

We went to Africa for a day, saw the Rock of Gibraltar and toured the island, spent 3 wonderful, relaxing days on Omaha beach in Normandy, had a crazy few hours driving through Paris traffic to see the Eiffel Tower, spent an entire day exploring Seville here in Spain, and countless hours just hanging out with people that I love.  I'm not going to bore you with hundreds of pictures, although I have them!  I'll just pick a few of my favorites from each place we visited, and tell you my favorite part.

Africa:  We had a tour guide to lead us around the city of Tangiers in Morocco, after a quick ferry ride from Tarifa, Spain.

Gibraltar:  Quick day trip to see the tip of Southern Spain.

Seville:  Day trip to see the Cathedral and take a carriage ride around the beautiful Spanish city.

France:  Normandy and Paris.  Just beautiful in different ways.  I loved the Eiffel Tower even though I wasn't sure I would.  I was afraid I'd be disappointed after building it up too much in my mind.

It was great to get to see my parents, and it was great to get to see new places.  It was great seeing my kids reconnect with their grandparents, and probably the first time I've ever seen my daddy on a swing!

The best part, however, was experiencing those new things with my parents.  Here is the post my dad wrote after we left Normandy.

"As I stood in the sand looking out across the channel toward England with the remains of the German fortifications behind me there are no words to express the respect and gratitude I felt for the men who poured onto this beach that June morning over 70 years ago. Not knowing if the next breath would be their last...
Their bravery and dedication to our country and those allied with us should still inspire us today. They, as well as those like my father who were fighting another enemy half way around the world, did what was called for to defeat the evil they faced. This was truly the greatest generation.
Now we have another generation of young men and women who are willing to make the same sacrifices and commitments as the brave men who fought and died here so long ago. God bless and protect them..... and God bless and protect America."

Have a great week!

--- Amanda

Military Moments (with Amanda): Semana Santa as an Outsider

I am so excited about these weekly Blog post from Amanda -- our chaplain's wife when I lived in Turkey. These"Military Moments" posts allow her to discuss and share ideas and stories from military life. 

When we moved to Spain, we knew we would get to see things we'd never seen before.  I had no idea one of them would revolve around Easter.  Here in Spain they have a unique way of celebrating the last week of Lent, leading up to Easter.  Called Holy Week or Semana Santa.  I found a link on wikipedia that will explain more about the processions and what everything means, but we have a friend who is a priest at these two churches that I have pictures of below, and I'll tell you what he said it means.  Wikipedia article is here.

As we walked down the street to the first church San Miguel, we saw many of these red banners.

 Each of these processions or pasos are sponsored by a fraternity or brotherhood.  They work all year, but especially in the last months leading up to the pasos getting everything ready.  The pasos start in a church and walk around the entire city.  The ones I attended this year were in the city of Moron de la Frontera.  Each of the pasos tell a story of the Passion of Christ.  They follow the events of Holy Week in the New Testament of the Bible.

There are always at least 2 "floats" in the procession.  One is Jesus in whatever event that paso is showing, and the other is Mary.  Jesus goes out first and is followed by Mary.

Let's talk about the people around them.  The people who lead the processional are all paying penance of some kind.  It is very personal and only between them and God.  Because of this, they cover their faces.  The hoods they wear (called Capirotes) look familiar to those of us from the United States, but for a very different reason.  Let me just say that the Spanish tradition came first and their manner of dress was stolen by the people who used it to do horrible things.  So, the hoods are worn to hide their identity so they can pay their penance in silence and in a more personal way.

Here are people inside the church putting on their capirotes and getting ready to walk.

The doors are open and the processional is about to start.  People are lining the streets to see the floats.

Jesus is bound and his float is wooden with purple flower petals on the bottom.  It is beautiful.

Closer look at Jesus and the intricate carving of the wood.

Mary's float is predominantly silver and all of those candles will continually be re-lit all evening as they process.

How do the floats move?  They are man-powered.  Meaning there are rows and rows of men under there and they are literally carrying the floats and walking around the city.  They are very coveted spots and it is a great honor to be able to carry these icons around their city.  They spend every weekend of lent practicing carrying the floats, and we happen to be lucky enough to see one.

There are extra men walking behind them to switch out when it is needed.  These floats weigh over 2,500 pounds.

The way they all stand up with the float is wonderful and if you get the chance to see if on video, you should watch it.

They have left the church and are starting the procession.  It will last for at least five hours, maybe longer.  Everyone outside claps as soon as he is out the door.  

On Wednesday, we went to a different church to watch the procession.  This time Jesus was depicted in the Garden, praying and asking God to remove the cup from him.

More intricate wood carving.

We went to the balcony to watch everyone getting ready

They walk along with the incense and a band plays outside as the floats come by.

Walking out with Mary

Re-lighting the candles before going outside.

The most unique thing about this church is that the doors are too small for the floats to get out with the men walking.  

They have to carry it to here, then get down on their knees and go out the door on their knees. It is a truly powerful thing to see someone worship in a non-traditional way. In our world, there aren't many ways we can use our bodies to worship, and they truly are using them here. We watch as they precariously balance all that weight while bending on their knees and then scooting out the door. They then have to all stand back up and begin the long, five-hour process of allowing their fellow citizens to worship this way as well. It was something I'll never forget and has made my Easter celebrations much more profound.

Opinions expressed in guest posts are not necessarily those of the station manager (i.e. Wendi!)

Military Moments (with Amanda): He Said, She Said

I am so excited about these weekly Blog post from Amanda -- our chaplain's wife when I lived in Turkey. These"Military Moments" posts allow her to discuss and share ideas and stories from military life. 

Want to know what couples go through when they are separated because of a deployment? The first answer is probably that none of them go through the same things, but the way they choose to stay connected and cope with being apart is something we can all use when we are far away from someone we love.

I asked the same series of questions to couples in different stages of deployments and with different situations they were leaving behind.  I’ll be sharing updates about them here with you. 

Here is how Rachel and Josh (not their real names) are staying connected:

SHE SAID…

Me: Can you give us a little family background and pre-deployment plans for connectivity with your husband?

Rachel: We are a very close knit family of four. Josh and I have been married for 19 years; our daughter is 15 and our son is 11.  My son plays travel hockey and my daughter travel volleyball. My husband and I always kept in touch during previous deployments by letter, email and our two telephone calls a month. Technology has definitely made keeping in touch a lot easier this time around. I opened email addresses for both of my children through Yahoo so that he could send them messages privately. We also all have a telephone so they are able to see their messages from him all day. We had decided that he would video chat with us at the same time each night, which is new for me, but he found a site, TANGO, that allows for this by using Wi-Fi. He gets up to get ready for work and calls us as the kids are getting done for the night and ready for bed. It has worked out wonderful considering the nine and a half hour time difference. We have also been able to dial him in at both of the kids sporting events as long as the building has Wi-Fi too.  It has really helped make them all feel like he is still here sometimes.

 

Me: What has been the hardest thing to adjust to?

Rachel: This is definitely not our first deployment but definitely the toughest. The kids are older and into many activities, which he has missed most of since leaving. I also homeschool my son, so the fact that my husband has been gone for most of the school year has been hard on me. There are not many instances for breaks until my daughter is home. And even after all our other deployments, this is the one that I absolutely miss him the most. We are so close to the end of his career that I worry more about him now than I ever did before.  

Me: Has anything in the house/car broken since he left? 

Rachel: I haven't had any technical problems with the house or car since I do make sure the keep most things up to date. Our home security system went crazy and I had to fight with Cox to get it fixed without having to pay for it. That is usually my bigger stressor -- taking care of all our finances and things that need to be taken care of with the house and kids. The only thing broken is me when I cannot be at both kids’ events at the same time. I hate having to send my older one with another family, but we've been so blessed with help from friends.

Me: Anything specifically working or not working to feel connected?  Technology issues or emotional issues?

Rachel: Our nightly video chats are what keeps us sane. Although I will say that when he doesn't call on time, I do worry about him. I have to remember that his Wi-Fi is not always working and that there are things happening over there that call him away. He usually tries his best to let me know when that happens. Email has been great too. I usually always have a message from him. Snail mail has been more of a problem this time. Things are taking so much longer this deployment than many others. And because he missed so many holidays this time, we do send him quite a few things.  He gets them but most times very late.  

Me: What Resources are you using to help cope?  Military resources or friends/family resources?

Rachel:  The base we are at does not have a lot of programs suited to families.  Our deployment manager has done his best at creating events each month, but because we are a joint base and the bases are quite a distance, we usually only attend the ones that are closest to us, 2 in the last 4 months.  I haven't made a lot of friends this time around either so the fact that I am super busy with the kids has helped make the time feel like it's gone by pretty quickly.  But that does not leave a lot of me time and there really is not much to do here.  We've definitely had much better assignments during other deployments.  I know you have to make it the best that you can, so we definitely do not sit around feeling sorry for ourselves.

Me: Any other Family members' adjustment problems or successes (specifically if you have children)?

Rachel:  My kids definitely miss their daddy, but they are both holding up well considering the circumstances. My daughter is a teen and sometimes she is harder to read. I know she misses him though. She does do her best to fill him in every night about things that have happened during her day. My son on the other hand wears his heart on his sleeve. He has done well with but will be the one to remind me that Dad is calling in seven minutes, or Dad must not be calling us since it's past 8:30. He asks questions about what Dad does all the time and has already began making plans on what he and my husband will be doing once he returns home. I am used to these separations, but it has been a lot harder on me this time around. I get scared when things happen that I know he is involved with. We've been together so long that I just want him to come home as this might be our last deployment time. But I have to get up every day and take care of the responsibilities here and my kids need me until their daddy comes home.

HE SAID . . .

Me: How long have you been there and how much time do you have left before returning home?

Josh: I have been gone for the last 131 days. I am expecting to be here around 60 more days.

Me: What has been the hardest thing to adjust to?

Josh: Missing out on family moments. Christmas, Valentine’s Day, school dances, volleyball games and practices, Hockey games and practices, homework, television on the couch, lunches and dinners.

Me: What is not hard?

Josh: This is my fifth deployment and probably my last so Renee and I have been through this
many times. Our daughter has been through one previous deployment, but our son is getting this for the first time. The hardest thing on this deployment was seeing him cry at the airport when I was leaving knowing that he was going to have to go through this.

Me: Do you feel connected to what is going on back home?

Josh: I feel connected to what my family is doing back home but local news or even national news I really have no clue. I do not spend a lot of time reading about it or watching the television. To be honest I work 12 to 14 hours a day and do an hour or so in the gym followed by a couple of hours of homework per night. I do have contact with my family every day to catch up on what has happened for the day. I have been able to watch a few hockey games and some volleyball games via internet which has been great.

Me:  What resources are you using to stay resilient?  Are those local military resources or friends/family or something else?

Josh:  Am I staying mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally resilient? Yes. We have had some very traumatic experiences on this rotation but the local family (Squadron) have pulled together to support each other. We have some very good fitness accommodations. Our chapel staff comes over at least once every week and is very easy to get in touch with.  Emotionally, I am fine as well. Just miss my family and am ready to head home and see them again.

Thank you both for your service to our country and for sharing with how you stay connected. I pray for a wonderful reunion for this family. Send someone my way if you think they'd like to talk to me about their deployment. I love hearing all the different ways people stay connected, and I'm sure they will help people in future deployments.

Opinions expressed in guest posts are not necessarily those of the station manager (i.e. Wendi!)

Military Moments (with Amanda!): Checklists Galore

I am so excited about these weekly Blog post from Amanda -- our chaplain's wife when I lived in Turkey. These"Military Moments" posts allow her to discuss and share ideas and stories from military life. 

This week I was reminded that even though I’m far from my extended family, I’m still surrounded by people who show love to us. A retired military contractor who works here (he’s leaving Spain this week to move back to the states) found out we were moving to South Dakota and contacted Ron to see if we wanted to meet him for lunch one day to answer any questions we might have. I’ve never met this man, and all he knows is that we have kids and we’ll be moving to his home town.  He met with us the day before he was scheduled to fly out to move back to the states. Y’all, he wrote three hand-written pages of things that we should see and do in Rapid City and the surrounding area.  He talked to us for over an hour and went over each one of the 29 points.  It was an incredibly thoughtful thing for him to do for us and I appreciate it so much.  Speaking of checklists…

It’s been a couple of weeks since we found out where our next duty station will be.  We are in the middle of my checklist for the move.

1. Search Facebook for groups: This turned up more groups than I can keep up with, so now I’m in the process of figuring out which ones I want to be in.
2. Find out about fostering: I’ve not been able to contact the county offices because Rapid City is on the edge of two counties.  Until we know where we will live, it’s going to be hard to narrow down our county office.  I have written an email to the state-wide foster parenting website, but I’ve not gotten a reply in over a week, so I need to do more follow-up work on this one.
3. Homeschool Rules: I quickly found a wonderful Facebook group for homeschoolers and they informed me of the South Dakota homeschooling rules.  More lenient that Maryland in some areas, except for mandatory testing for certain grades.  We are all satisfied with the laws except for the one who will have to take standardized tests for the first time in his 13 years of life.  Just another learning experience, right?
4. Houses to live in: I’ve just stopped looking.  I have found multiple houses that I would love to live in, but I then go down some weird HGTV inspired rabbit hole and realize those houses might not be there in five months when we move in.  So, then I turn it off and sulk. 
5. History of the area: Our new friend with all the information also provided some of this.  Then a quick google search for a timeline of South Dakota brought up a couple of books that look interesting.  I put in an order for a couple from amazon, so we’ll start reading those as soon as they get here.
6. Search the house for things to sell: This is the least fun for everyone except Ron.  He loves to throw things away.  We’ve done most of the main parts of the house, but the kids’ rooms haven’t been done at all.  I’m saving that for when my parents visit us in a little over a week!  We have the garage sale date set, so now we’ve got to finish looking through everything so we can be ready.
7. Jobs and extracurricular activity for children:
• Our 18-year-old wants a job, but something with animals, or coffee, or books.  It seems she’s open to a lot of jobs, and she has bookmarked nearly every place that has a job opening.  Let’s hope some of them are still hiring in August.
• The 13-yr. old wants to take Judo with Ron.  He also wants to find a scout troop and find a way to “work with birds” (but only birds of prey… they are the coolest!)!
• The 10-yr. old wants to “do parkour or gymnastics” and find a cub scout pack for his last year before boy scouts. 

That is only MY checklist for our move.  Things that I’ve been wondering about and wanting to make sure I know all about. 

There are quite a few websites that provide comprehensive checklists for PCSing.  I’m not nearly disciplined enough to go through them, but it is nice to have those lists to look at.  One of my favorites is here.  Military.com has tons of information about the military in general, but this is one of my favorites things on their site.  It has different checklists depending on how long you have left before your PCS.  Since we will be moving sometime in August, we are too early for any of their checklists.  However, we are going to be having all of our stuff packed up at the end of May or the beginning of June.  We want to make sure there are NO issues with getting our stuff to South Dakota before we get there. 

Overseas bases have furniture that you can borrow until your household goods (HHGs) arrive, and you can borrow them again after your stuff is packed out, but that doesn’t happen in the continental US (CONUS).  We don’t want to find a house and have no furniture.  I’m sure I’ll be missing my bed by then.

The earliest checklist they have is for 3 months before you move.  Since we are packing our stuff in June, I still looked through this checklist to see what I can work on. 

It’s safe to say that I’m getting overwhelmed at the number of things on this list.  So, I’ll stick with my small checklist about the things I’m most excited about, and I’ll report back as we get closer to leaving. 

Side Note:  We are going to work our way through every item on his list while we are in South Dakota.  I’ll be documenting our “Checklist Journey” on our family blog if you are interested.

Opinions expressed in guest posts are not necessarily those of the station manager (i.e. Wendi!)