I think I want to believe I am in control. But losing half our turkeys yesterday quickly indicated to me that I'm not. We can do everything we think is right and try as hard as we can, but farming is sort of a microcosm of life in general I think. In the end, God is in control, and we aren't. And that's hard to wrap my mind around sometimes. I want to trust God and give him control, but I want to control things.
Don't we all?
I want to throw in the towel.
But I won't.
I just shake my head and say "that's a bummer" and remember that losing some turkeys pales in comparison to so many other things. My husband wasn't here when things went down yesterday, but he took it in complete stride. "Bummer" he said. What else can you say?
And in the meantime, we keep farming.
But we are, as I have mentioned previously, scaling back a bit. We always said we wanted to try some stuff here on the farm and see what is a good fit. And so we are trying to decide what things we enjoy and what things are too much and get our load here to a manageable amount. We know our sheep and laying chickens are here to stay. But we aren't sure right now about our pigs or ducks or geese.
Time will tell.
Again, back to that microcosm, aren't we all -- you and me both -- looking at our life and trying to decide what we have time for ... what is too much ... what is too hard ... what is spreading us too thin?
I thought that living a rural life would be slow, but rural doesn't automatically equal slow. You still have to be purposeful in your decisions. We don't run around as much and we don't eat out as much, but we still are busy.
And trying to find balance.
Just keepin' it real!