We want our kids' nervous system to down-regulate in our presence.
I have so much more I want to discuss about this. I want to break this down in so many ways.
This journey through the recesses of my mental health demands that I look things in the face. And as I look it in the face, I see what I much do for my children.
2017: Charleston, SC Went to Shane and Linda's house for the holiday.
2018: On the farm! Grace, Nate, and Ray (along with Jacob) were here for the holiday with the grandparents and our family of six.
2019: On the farm! Ray and kiddos along with Anni, Jacob, and the grandparents here on the farm.
I have written previously about my cousin Josh and his pastoral series. He is over in Brentwood, TN at New Hope Community Church. I love this series. There is so much I want to write about with his series, and I just haven't had time to take notes on them as much as I have wanted to. So I am setting up a "master" post, so as I have time, I can go ahead and take notes on each sermon in this series.
#1 GOD WANTS OUR HONESTY: More to come
#2 ANXIETY TO PEACE: More to come
#3 DEPRESSION TO JOY: More to come
Comfort happens in the midst of grief. Can you just SIT with someone in their grief? Romans 12: 9-21 is where Paul writes about the marks of a true Christian, and he encourages us to "let love be genuine." Romans 12:15 tells us to "rejoice with those that rejoice and weep with those that weep." You notice it doesn't say "fix the situation." LEAN INTO THAT. I lvoe that statement. Grief doesn't go according to plan. It is all over the map.
Grief doesn't have to be the loss of a loved one. It can be the loss of a dream. It can be the loss of time. There is grief in that. It can be the loss of a friendship.
Psalm 147:3 " He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." But remember. If your wound needed a bandage, it probably has a scar.
Remember when Jesus goes to the tomb of Lazarus? If the Messiah who came into this world is able to weep with us? And show us how it is done? Then there are just times that we need to weep with those who weep and mourn with those who mourn. Let them get it out.
John 14: 1 "Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God. Believe also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you .... that where I am, you may be also."
1. Don't be afraid to cry; don't apologize for your grief
2. Share your grief; tell people about it! Tell them about your dreams don't come true. Don't bury it. Share it!
3. If it is still in your heart and it is in your mind, it needs to come out!
Rejection hurts. And the negative thoughts swim in our minds. People may reassure us by offering these words. However, rejection is your worst fear becoming reality. All the things that were swimming in your head, are real at least in that moment. Scientists have discovered that the pain we feel physically is from the same region of our brain that processes emotional pain.
And in that rejection, you look to the future and predict future pain. Your brain is protecting you. It doesn't want you to feel that again. It's the same as touching a stove. You know the pain and you won't go near it again. Your body knows the pain of rejection, and it wants to protect you from that ever happening again. Our mind is confirming what we "knew" all along: I am not good enough.
This is the lie that the Devil is throwing at us. You are inadequate.
Rejection is a rite of passage in life. When you feel rejection, however, you are in the greatest Biblical company you can imagine. Jesus knew what it would be like to be rejected. He knows what the burning stove feels like so he would be able to know what you would feel like.
When you feel rejected, try thinking: "Jesus has never been closer." He knows what it feels like. When you open your heart to Jesus and step out of the bondage of thinking no one knows, you step into a relationship with Jesus where he says, "Let me just hold you because I know what this feels like."
YOU MATTER TO JESUS!
Abigail has gotten very into photography, editing photos, video work, etc. And I think she's really good at it. Some people just have an eye for these images. She is only 13, and she doesn't have a "real phone." She is just taking these on an old family phone that child #3 gets to use until she turns 15.
I truly love seeing the passion of my children's emerge. Isaac loves all things music. Be it writing, listening, playing, performing, attending ... he is IN. He also loves theatre and performance and thinks going to NYC with me to see a Broadway play would be loads of fun. He also has a propensity for collecting/organizing and truly enjoys collecting Hot Wheels cars. It's a treasure hunt for him and he thoroughly enjoys the hunt.
Elijah "Sidge" loves everything outdoors. He is particularly fascinated with hunting and hunting things of all kinds. John and him are planning a 2026 hunting trip (for a safari they won last year) and he is constantly reading books and hunting on the farm. I will often wake up to find him already gone, gun in hand, out for the latest animal. Sidge has no desire to work a "desk job" and I think the requirement to do so would make him miserable. He wants to be involved outdoors and specifically with nature. I love to see this side of him.
I'm really seeing a bent with Abigail toward the arts. She is a talented writer and also loves dance and photography and videography. I see her doing something with these skills as she gets older. She has an eye for decor and colors.
The Pomegranate is truly the best baker in our home. She can whip up a batch of cookies in no time. All things craft. Crochet. Knit. Sew. She does it. She has, since she was little, genuinely seen the world differently. Where someone may just see a pole, she sees a piece of art that can be approached with a totally different outlook. She's constantly taking a simple piece of "junk" and figuring out how it has a new life. I love it.
I can't wait to see who each of them become, and I'm truly encouraging them to find their passion. They don't need money. Money can happen. What brings you JOY. God will take the joy and use it for you in your life. Find what you are passionate about.
I understand not everyone is a fan of hunting. And I totally respect that. But for my nearly fifteen-year-old son, it is truly his PASSION.
We have a few rules surrounding hunting. We won't hunt just for sport. If we hunt anything, it is because it is a predator or it is because it is going to be eaten.
In the case of coyotes, they are "allowed" to be hunted at anytime and anywhere because they are so prolific in this area. John told Sidge he would allow him ONE coyote. He won't hunt another unless our farm needs them hunted because of predation issues. (We do not eat coyotes. Generally, you do not eat carnivores.)
Sidge actually went out for deer and got a coyote. It was the first time he had seen a coyote outside of a casual encounter wandering out of the woods.
We were so excited for Sidge. This is so fun for him. He is getting so big and so strong and so buff and he moves in the woods with such incredible dexterity and quietness.
I love that he has found something so much. I love that we have him on a farm where he can do this. I am not interested in hunting. And I know people often are not. But it is a great activity here on the farm -- and most of it results in food!
We are constantly ending up with clothing items here on our farm, and I can't figure out who they belong to! Here's another shirt that showed up, randomly. And I have no idea whose it is!? I have contacted everyone I know. Ugh!
I often laugh that I worried about being lonely on this farm. I'm never lonely. We live way out of town. And yet people show up here all the time. Rarely does a day go by that someone isn't here to visit.
It's wonderful.
I just wish they wouldn't leave clothes behind.
Sometimes you get a very surprising little hug. Yesterday I had two letters in my mailbox. One was from my mom's sister, Janet, who lives nearby. The other was from my mom's sister, Connie, who lives in Michigan. I know both of their handwriting intimately so I knew who they were from before I even opened up the letters.
I am very blessed to have many aunts and uncles on both sides of my parents' families that have poured into me over the year. My dad had four brothers and one sister. They were all married. Three of them have now gone on to Jesus. My mom has two brothers and two sisters, and her two sisters are both very valuable members of my life. They have also been a HUGE encouragement to me during the last year as I have recovered from an intense healing/mental health journey.
People.
Love them.
Sidge:
Isaac:
The boys recently did some testing with University Ready. I love seeing how different the two of them are. They are just born loving and doing different things, and it is SO FUN to see them develop who THEY are.
