Rest

 

Our church puts a huge emphasis on serving. In fact, one of their mottos is "attend one ... serve one."

And I totally agree.

Only right now, we can't. Not in the way that feels like the "right way."

I spoke with Ms. Kenrda about that at church today, and she said: "It sounds like you are trying to convince yourself. It's okay. I give you permission to not serve."

John and I did years of serving. We worked with the teens and children and did the Christmas play. 

We then had kids which cut down our ability to help somewhat. However, at some point, we were finding our groove again. 

And then ...

KAPOW!

COVID!

Here's the truth: my family MUST come first. It's okay to say "I can't."

Yes, even to church. 

See, when a COVID wave hits us (which has happened twice), we have significant skin in the game. And when you have skin in the game, it is a BIG BIG BIG deal.

John often doesn't want to go to church. Actually, I edit that. He can't go to church. He has driven into Greeneville 18 days in a row and worked 14 hour shifts for weeks on end. And suddenly he gets a Sunday off, and he says: "We need to stay home."

And then there are some Sundays that, because of me single-handedly running the show and the farm and life I realize: "Today is not a good day. It's okay to stay home."

Sometimes when I start to feel sorry for myself or lament these challenges, my husband reminds me: "Wendi, this is a global Pandemic. World-wide. It sucks. Oh well."

It's true. NO ONE wants a Pandemic. NO ONE wants to EVER live through this again.

But in the meantime, there MUST be an oder to my life. I must put importance on things. I must rank my priorities. God is VERY important. But if I need to skip church in order to maintain sanity, it's OKAY. 

It's ..

Okay.

To rest.