Yesterday, Sidge and I did a quick run into Publix to grab a bag of dog food. On our way in, we stopped to use the restroom. I went into the women's restroom and Sidge went to the family restroom stall where a woman in a motorized grocery cart was beginning her exit. Like the gentleman I've trained him to be, he held the door open to wait for her to pull out.
By the time I got out of the women's restroom, Sidge was still standing in front of the family stall, holding open the door for the woman in her motorized carts. She was not handicapped. Instead, she had sprained an ankle. She was about 65 years old and had obviously never driven one of these machines before. And, without completely making fun of her, I have to say, I am not sure she has driven a car much either.
Sidge looked up at me with a look of complete exasperation on his face. Later he told me that it was a solid four minutes of her trying to back out. "She hit the toilet, then the sink, then the garbage can, then the door. And then she'd have the cart back where she started and would start bumping into them all over again," he said.
When I got there, I told Sidge to slip into another bathroom and use it while I tried to help this lady. Folks, if this woman was handicapped, I would not tell this story. But because she was simply a "newbie" to this machine, I just could not believe what I was seeing. She was simply unable to do a three-point turn.
Her husband stepped in and decided that his strategy will be to physically move the electronic cart with her on it. He starts trying to pick up the back and relocate it, and she starts to tip over! Like she's going to land on her side if he tries anymore. "Sir," I said, trying to maintain my six feet of socially distancing, "I think she may fall." He agreed and backed up, almost in a fit of complete exasperation as to how he could get his wife out of the bathroom.
I finally stepped in and started giving the woman directions. Small turn. Turn again. Stop. Turn again. But it was a comedy show. Truly. She finally got out of the bathroom only to realize that she was now in a little "foyer" and had another door she needed to get out to reenter the grocery store itself.
By the time Sidge got out of the bathroom, I was still trying to help this lady. Her husband kept trying to solve the problem by physically moving the cart. At one point she started to stand up and let him drive it, but her foot was pretty injured and she really couldn't do it.
Oh
my
goodness.
I kept a straight face the entire time as she truly turned into a pinball in a machine bopping between all the bathroom apparatuses.
Hilarious.
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