Thursday, January 21, 2010

Bathroom routine

7:30am. Isaac still in bed. Elijah has been up for one hour. I am getting ready for Bible Study. Decide this is the best time to do my hair and make-up. Only one child up. Better odds of success.

Often I take my hair and make-up stuff into the dining room and sit at the table. But today I opt. to do it in my bathroom. (You can determine the wisdom of this decision.) Elijah follows me in. Let me take you through just fort-five seconds of our encounter with Mommy's bathroom.

Elijah: (Reaches into bathtub for a toy. Nearly falls in.)

Mommy: No Elijah.

Elijah: (Has successfully pulled one toy from tub. Holds it up over his head and grunts in victory as he waddles into my bedroom to celebrate.)

Mommy: What did you find? What do you have?

Elijah: (Returns to the bathroom. Spots toilet paper roll. Drops toy. Reaches for toilet paper roll.)

Mommy: No-no Elijah.

Elijah: (Holds up finger and begins talking to it -- grunting at it -- debating with it -- thinking about reaching again but now knows warning has occurred and penalty will result.)

Mommy: Good listening Elijah!

Elijah: (Turns to toilet. Starts to make lunge for water. Mommy quickly shuts lid.)

Mommy: No-no Eljiah.

Elijah: (Turns to garbage can. Spots toilet bowl brush. Huge smile spreads across his face and his whole countenance screams: NEW TOY! NEW TOY!)

Mommy: No-no Elijah. (Mommy is attempting during entire encounter to advance her looks even slightly.)

Elijah: (Holds up finger and begins talking to it -- thinking about reaching again but remembers again that warning has occurred and penalty will result. Starts to reach. Debates. Decides against it.)

Wendi: Good listening Elijah boy!

Elijah: (Immediately turns to toilet again. Decides he has watched enough times and can now open the lid himself. Does so.)

Wendi: Woah. I didn't know you knew how to do that. No-no Elijah. (Shuts lid.)

Elijah: (Turns to cabinet door and contemplates opening it.)

Wendi: (Realizes this is a never-ending cycle.) Let's get out of here Elijah. Mommy is ready enough for today.

Elijah: (Lifts hands over head and goes running out of bathroom, through bedroom and slams bedroom door. On the monitor a new little voice can be heard. The slam has woken big brother. Elijah begins crying because he cannot open the door using the little stopper on the bottom because it is all the way closed. Big brother is crying because he wants to get up. Mommy is realizing that her hair will only look so-so this morning.)

Off to church!


Anonymous said...

You ALWAYS look beautiful!

AW said...

LOL - so cute! And SO relatable!

Brittny said...

I can't tell you how many times I got ready with my foot on the toilet lid to hold it shut while pressing the toilet paper roll with the same leg to prevent it from being unrolled. if i only had a third leg to hold the plunger and toilet wand while standing on my first leg I could master getting ready with kids. and you always look great! i figure if you can make yourself look decent once a week you are doing fabulous! that's my rule i made up for myself.

Blessed Blackman Bunch said...

LOVE It! I can just hear you and see you. :) Tis a season....and you DO always look WONDERFUL! :)