Migraine

I've been fighting a migraine for two days. They are hormonal for me, but I just can't get this under control. It's whipping me. I'll be blogging more soon, but for now, just trying to rest as I take care of my family and farm. Your prayers are appreciated.

'Twas the Night Before Christmas

There are quite a few things I love about our town of Greeneville. One of those this is that they have the NPAC which is a fantastic performing arts center -- far more "advanced" that our town size would usually produce. We've gotten to see some wonderful things there. One of the things we have LOVED is going there for the children's theaters with our homeschool group. 

This time we saw: 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. 

Hazel (left) has become a really good friend of Hannah's. They are bonding more and more!

In the back row are a few of Abigail's friends with her in purple.

When we do a "drive-by" to see Daddy.

Whenever we are near JB's hospital and he is working, we try to stop in and see him. If it isn't crazy at all, we'll go in. But if it's a bit crazy, JB just comes out to see him. It really helps break up his 12-hour shifts:

A BOI thank you

Every single time I look at our boy, I seriously can’t believe he’s ours. OURS!! All those years we were waiting, Caleb was the one we were waiting for. How incredible is that?

When we started our adoption journey, the amount of money we were going to need felt like an insurmountable mountain. Wendi can attest to the fact that I regularly expressed doubt that all of the money would come. How could we ask people to donate $26,000 to us?

I can attest to the fact that every time I doubted, Wendi reminded me that none of this was too big for God. 

There is a worship song called “Do It Again” by Elevation Worship. Without knowing it, my sister-in-law Vanessa and my cousin Stephanie text this song to me within five days of each other, right around when Caleb was born. I had never heard it before, but this part really hit home for me:

“I've seen You move, come move the mountains

And I believe, I'll see You do it again

You made a way, where there was no way

And I believe, I'll see You do it again”

Remember that insurmountable financial mountain? Well, God moved that mountain not once, but twice. The first time when we needed $26,000, and then again when we needed more money so we could switch agencies.  

Time and time again, he made a way where there was no way. And he did it through every single person who faithfully donated to Because of Isaac on our behalf. Words feel so inadequate to express how grateful we are. God used you to help fulfill the desire of our hearts to be parents. Thank you!!

In addition to financial donations, so many people stepped up and blessed us with everything we could possibly need for Caleb from a car seat and stroller to diapers, wipes, clothes, pack n play, toys, and the list goes on. Seriously, we have felt so blessed. 

Our church family fed us for a couple of weeks, which was amazing!! Thank you!!

Our families (as many of them could come out) came out to helped us navigate having newborn, washed bottles, made food and loved on Caleb and us!! 

The wait for Caleb was so incredibly hard. There were more dark days than I can count, and I lost hope at some point. God had a plan though...and it was a perfect plan. Our boy was absolutely, completely, totally worth the wait. We would do it all over again in a heartbeat. 

We want to thank John and Wendi for believing in us and standing by us. We could not have done this without you!

Lastly, thank you Jesus for this precious gift that you knit together in another mother’s womb. For giving her the strength to make the most selfless, sacrificial decision she’s ever made. All glory and praise go to you!!

We love you all!!

Ryan & Briana

Mornin' Sunshine

I've been trying to figure out how to do my devotions in our 1.5 bedroom house. After brainstorming with my friend Cara, I decided to turn on my book like 30 minutes before the girls get up (they sleep in our room right now) and study in my bed. I can't go out into the living room or the doggies will go crazy, and JB is often in the school room. 

This worked beautifully until this little lady got up to join me: 

She decided to write her name in my journal. :)

When you realize ....

.... three of your Life Group members are dressed in the same shirts at church. :)

For us all to remember: The J.C. Ryle Archive

As Parents The Soul of Your Child is The First Thing to be Considered

Train with this thought continually before your eyes—that the soul of your child is the first thing to be considered.

Precious, no doubt, are these little ones in your eyes; but if you truly love them, then often think about their souls. Nothing should concern you as greatly as their eternal destiny. No part of them should be so dear to you as that part which will never die. The world, with all its glory, will pass away; "The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything in it will be laid bare." But the spirit which dwells in those little creatures, whom you love so well, will outlive them all, and whether they spend eternity in happiness or misery will depend a lot on you (speaking from man’s perspective).

This is the thought that should be uppermost on your mind in all that you do for your children. In every step you take about them, in every plan, and scheme, and arrangement that concerns them, do not leave out that mighty question, "How will this affect their souls?"

To love the soul is to really love. To pet and pamper and indulge your child, as if this world was all he had to look forward to, and this life the only period of happiness—to do this is not true love, but cruelty. It is treating him like some beast of the earth, which has only one world to look to, and nothing after death. It is hiding from him that grand truth, which he ought to be made to learn from his very infancy—that the number one goal of his life is the salvation of his soul.

A true Christian must not be a slave to what’s currently "in-fashion," if he wants to train his child for heaven. He must not be content to teach them and instruct them in certain ways, merely because it is customary, or to allow them to read books of a questionable sort, merely because everybody else reads them, or to let them form bad habits, merely because they are the habits of the day. He must train with an eye to his children's souls. He must not be ashamed to hear his training called odd and strange. What if it is? The time is short—the customs of this world are passing away. He that has trained his children for heaven, rather than for the earth—for God, rather than for man—he is the parent that will be called wise in the end.

Our Fashion Diva

I love my balaclava. It is amazing on the farm. I can wear it around my neck 

but pull it over my head if the wind picks up: 

But leave it to my fashion diva, Hannah, to come up with her own way to wear the balaclava. First, a skirt:  

And then a full dress: 

We Bought a Farm: A farming example of the best laid plans

Proverbs 16:9The heart of man plans his ways, but the Lord establishes his steps.

Rowan ducks at Bauernhof Kitsteiner. After one successful incubated batch and two successful "in the wind" batches, we now have seven males (which we need to cut down to just two very soon) and sixteen females.

Our guinea fowl. We lost a batch last year due to an error on our part. But we just brought in a new batch. These animals are incredibly dumb (I mean look at the size of their heads) but voracious tick eaters. However, our new batch isn't returning to the safety of their home at night which concerns us.

So the one thing about farming that challenges me more than anything is the lack of planning that you can do. I mean, the night before, we will often sit around and discuss what we need to get done the next day. We are using a new app. on Trello to keep track of jobs that need to be done on the farm and who is doing them. 

And yet as dawn breaks, we find ourselves pulled in directions completely unplanned.

A quick example.

A few nights ago, I went to dinner with my friend Cara. She really helped me brainstorm my homeschooling day. There are some things that just aren't working for me, and I came up with a new plan.

This plans stems from the fact that the kids have approximately 6-8 school things they need to get done each day. But between the four of them, the things are scattered throughout the day. This means that while they, personally, are only schooling around three hours a day, I, the mom and teacher, am busy schooling for what feels like the entire day. 

So with Cara's help, I decided to try some twenty minute stations. This meant setting a timer and requiring all four kiddos to be in their station for twenty minutes. At the end of the twenty minutes, they picked a new station, and we all moved at the same time. If they need to opt. out of a session due to the need to poop or eat or do a chore, then they could wait for the next twenty minute station.

Day one of the plan went well. And overall, I am loving this plan; I have high hopes for success and for us to be finished schooling much earlier in the day.

But day two of the plan, I remembered why my homeschooling plans often fall apart. I remembered why any plan for a farmer can often fall apart.

It's called: the farm.

Specifically it is called: the animals on the farm who rarely do exactly what you planned on them doing especially on the days that you were really hoping they could do as they had planned.

Eight-year-old Sidge is now completely in charge of our chickens. He checks on them three times a day, waters them, feeds them, collects their eggs, and reports back with any problems. That morning he and the girls returned an injured chicken to the flock. It was a success, and we think she is going to make it! The girls often accompany their brothers on their chores, but the brother is in charge. 

Nine-year-old Isaac is now completely in charge of our duck and geese flock. He also checks on them two to three times a day, waters them, feeds them, collects their eggs, and reports back with any problems. 

So yesterday morning when Isaac came in with a little sister in tow, I expected the usual report. Only instead I found out that there was a dead duck in the paddock and its head was missing. Hannah was very animated about this. Her eyes were wide as she added little comments to Isaac's documentary.

Headless duck. You can't make this stuff up folks. #Ican'tbelievethisismylife

I quickly surmise my situation. JB is at work. Murphy's Law folks. Tijmen who can also help me handle tough situations is hunting in the woods. One of our female wwoofers is out doing other animal chores. And the other has the day off. My in-laws are off on a long to-do list in preparation for holiday company.

That leaves me. And four kids if you count them. And at least one dead duck. One headless duck.

So I head down to the paddock which is down a pretty steep hill. All four kids want to come with me for the following reasons:

• Isaac because they are "his thing" and he feels responsible. (I loved seeing this ownership in him.)
• Abigail because she loves all things bloody and medical.
• Sidge because he loves farming and wants to understand everything.
• Hannah because she has to be in the middle of anything going on.

Off we go. Sure enough there is one headless duck in the middle of the paddock. A goose is also outside the paddock indicating there was a scuffle or some fear that sent him flying or scampering out. The fence is not down anywhere but there are pieces of the duck scattered throughout the paddock. I think I see tracks but can't be sure. I count the ducks. It looks like only one got taken.

So I clean up the dead duck parts (yes, this is another moment I should say #Ican'tbelievethisismylife.) By this time Tymen has read my text, finished hunting, and joined me. I quickly call JB who confirms the feelings Tymen and I share on the situation. This was probably a raccoon who often kills for sport and not necessarily to eat. (I really feel frustrated that the animal who took this duck down didn't eat it. Truly it makes you feel better if you know this is part of the food cycle instead of just a bored raccoon.) Last night the dogs went crazy, and they seemed to chase something off, but I couldn't have been sure. Butif it is raccoon, the chances of it returning the next night are pretty high.

Only option: move the ducks and geese up into our yard for a few days to help break the predators' cycle. Predators won't usually come close to a house so it will up our chance of not losing more ducks or geese. We all feel very lucky that we only lost one animal in the mayhem. 

I set the kids on their twenty minute schoolwork rotations in the house telling Siri to set twenty minute timers and the boys to help the girls rotate, and they seem to be prepared to do a good job. Allt he while Tymen and I spend the next two hours relocating the ducks and geese. Remember I mentioned they were down a pretty steep hill. This means about a half dozen trips carrying paraphernalia up and down this hill. We set up a new paddock. We take down the old paddock. We set up a second new paddock that we can move them into in a few days. And then we move their water and their feed and herd them into their new home.

Following this adventure, I wasn't too hopeful for the next. My friend Karen came over to borrow one of our rams for a breeding season. Unlucky for all of us was the fact that the rams were currently out on one of the far sides of our pasture meaning we either had to harness the big daddy and walk him all the way back to their truck or take their truck into the far reaches of the pasture. We opted for the latter and friendly Admiral went without a hitch thanks to our strong Tymen and a strong man Karen recruited as well. Karen has since told me he has integrated beautifully with his ten wives and that he's taken to the guardian dogs she runs as well.

Shortly after that I realized that my father-in-law had accidentally taken my keys with him into town. He had two pigs in our neighbor Billy's travel trailer and after dropping the pigs off to be processed, an axle on the trailer broke (and a wheel went flying into a parking lot nearly hitting a lady). So he was sitting on the side of the road, and I was needing to take my boys to the orthodontist with no keys for the journey. Thankfully we remembered a back-up key we had stashed away for just this type of adventure, and I was able to proceed to the braces check without a hitch.

Here's the truth: I don't really dislike anything I am doing. Okay so picking up pieces of a dead duck isn't on the top of my love list but overall, it's an adventure, and I'm learning a lot. But trying to couple these adventures with my job as a wife and a mom and a teacher is really challenging me. I'm learning. I'm trying. And some days, I'm succeeding. But overall, this biggest lesson I am learning is that I can't make plans. I have to wing it. And that goes contrary to so many parts of this planner's personality.

I'm trying. I'm learning. I'm hyperventilating. I'm praying. I'm growing. I'm stretching. I'm being. I'm trusting.

And yeah, I'm cleaning up a dead duck.

Wee-wind Wednesday: Thanksgiving of 2005

I flashed back this morning to Thanksgivings of the past on my Blog. And I immediately stumbled on this one: Thanksgiving in Chicago. This was 2005, and we were two solid years into our infertility journey. I remember having the Huisman celebration at their church and sitting in a back room and just crying. All of my cousins now had children (and were preparing to have their second) and here we were .... still childless.

I need this reminder. I need to remember, in the throngs of parenting four amazing miracles, how much I begged to not have a quiet house. How every moment is precious. How hard it is to forget the beauty in the madness. I pray I never forget.

Our composer

I always have to sneak this videos (you'll see Isaac discover me at the end.) He spends time every day just writing his own songs and changing their key. (He told me this one was originally in A minor but he changed it to D sharp or something like that.) Rest assured that I do not share the video unless Isaac gives me permission. He told me I could share this one. But he did ask that others did not share.  I just love watching him compose music. So fun for us!

Abigail in car

Hannah rides a bike

No big surprise. Hannah decided to ride her bike when she wanted to and her way. This child is so her own person. She's so unique. So different from her siblings. So fun. So challenging. So beautiful. So energetic. So exhausting. So wonderful. I love her so much and this video makes me smile because she did it her way on her time -- as always.

Friday Funnies

Hannah: "Y-A-M spells potato!"

*****

Hannah: "I look so stupid in Mr. Tymen's hat."
Me: "We don't use the word stupid."
Hannah: "Okay so I looked so ridiculous then."

*****

Duygu: "What is a triplet?"
Hannah: "It is three twins."

*****

Hannah to Mr. Tymen: "My mom is old enough to be your mom." Sigh .... :)

*****

Hannah while I was brushing her hair after the bath: "This hurts terribly bad."

*****

Abigail: "Shooting something is sort of like dodgeball, but if you get hit, you die."

Night at Dollywood

This is my Part II post from our "Christmastime" celebration at Dollywood:

The girls in the car

These two little girls are becoming such good friends. They have also been getting a hold of my camera when I don't even know it and taking pictures of each other. It's a lot of fun to see what they took: