Samson Society

Please check out the Samson Society! A good friend of ours from Florida began this organization and holy cow the things they are sharing!

  

Most people think a “people pleaser” is just someone who’s overly nice or eager to help. But the truth is often deeper and more complicated.

 

People pleasers aren’t primarily trying to make others happy. Most of the time, they’re trying to avoid their own feelings of shame—the uncomfortable, gut-level fear that comes when they disappoint someone or fall short of expectations. The real goal isn’t approval or connection; it’s control over how others see them, because if they can predict or shape others’ reactions, they feel safer.

 

This pattern usually starts in childhood, when showing our true feelings might have been unsafe or when love and acceptance felt conditional. Over time, pleasing others becomes a coping mechanism, a way to protect ourselves from rejection, criticism, or shame.

 

The problem is, people-pleasing keeps us stuck. We sacrifice our needs, our desires, and even our identity just to avoid discomfort. The more we try to control how others see us, the more trapped we feel and the shame we’re avoiding keeps quietly running the show.

 

Healing starts with noticing when you’re people-pleasing, asking “Why am I doing this?” and learning to sit with the discomfort of your own feelings. Setting boundaries, saying no, and being authentic are scary at first, but every small step weakens shame’s hold and strengthens your sense of self.

 

Your worth isn’t dependent on how others see you. It’s already inside you. People-pleasing might have kept you safe in the past, but it doesn’t have to define your future.