Arabelle

Recovering

I am recovering. It feels slower than I would like. Just can't catch my breath and I get so tired.

But I am doing well. The puppies are now two weeks old, and boy oh boy do we have fun with them. The real "fun" will begin soon when they start climbing out of their little whelping box and just generally being adorable piles of fluff. 

John has been incredibly tired. I think all the kids being sick while I was in California, and then going on nights, and then everything happening to him, has just been a LOT for him. He never really gets ... clobbered. But he's a little clobbered right now.

The community has been so amazing. Delicious meals. Willingness to help transport. Every need met. 

Just have to give life time to get me back to me. :)

My recovery zen

Sharing what happened (by Wendi)

The truth was: I was on a medicine that can make you more "likely" to get a blood clot. Because of the risks involved, my amazing family medicine doctor here in town did not want to prescribe it. She sent me to a neurologist to get a more "migraine-focused" opinion. My neurologist thought it was worth "the try" as about 33% of women in my situation see an improvement with this medicine. 

John and I made the decision to try the medicine after much thought and prayer. We felt that my migraines were SO debilitating, and we had tried so many things, that this was a valid thing to try. 

The second truth was: I took a cross-country flight to California.

Those two things combined were almost definitely what caused me to get a DVT (deep-vein thrombosis) in my left calf. Without the medicine, I still may have gotten the DVT from the long flight (4.5 hours). However, the medicine definitely "did stuff to my blood" that probably contributed. 

And at some point, that clot in my leg, shot up to my lungs resulting in a PE (pulmonary embolism). In fact, I had multiple PE's in my lungs when they did a CT scan.

John is pretty sure (in hindsight) that I got the DVT in my leg on the way TO  California. I had a terrible leg cramp in the car with my loved ones while on the trip, and while it was very funny then (my foot was sticking out the moon roof), we now think that might have been the clot moving to my lungs. 

I also had a really hard time with a bike ride we went on in California. It was a BEAST, but John was shocked that I had such a hard time. In hindsight, it was most likely the trauma my body was going through at that point. 

When I returned to TN, all four of my kids had or currently had Flu-A (we think. John never tested them, but that's his best guess.) When I got back, I was very out-of-breath doing normal activities. And, I also noticed a bad pain in my left leg. Both of these were nearly simultaneous ... but both also had "secondary causes" that got us distracted from what was really going on. 

I attributed the bad pain to a leg cramp -- the remnants of a Charlie Horse in my sleep perhaps. I get leg cramps a lot. Having pain the next day from one is not uncommon.

And then ... I attributed the out-of-breath-ness to the Flu. I didn't feel sick, but maybe I was a bit. I kept having to take rests. I mentioned this to JB. But with everyone in the house sick, this was all pushed away. 

Then, on Saturday morning, I woke up to see John was sitting in the rocking chair in our room. He had had a bad night sleep due to a dizzy spell (which happens to him occasionally). He was telling me about it. I walked over to him and said: "I wanted to show you my calf. It's really hurting."

He felt it and then said: "I'm worried you have a DVT."

I immediately said: "I think I am going to pass out."

I quickly went over to my bed and sat down. John thought I was probably "freaking out" a bit. But I didn't feel "freaked." I just felt light-headed. However, I agreed that I must have heard the word "DVT" and gotten light-headed. 

I decided to take a much-needed shower. While in the shower, I felt myself starting to pass-out. I yelled for John and I quickly moved all the shampoo containers so I could sit on the little seat. John came over quickly as I was about to pass out. He managed to keep me conscious and got me to a safe position lying on the floor.

During that moment when I thought I might pass out, I actually thought: "I don't want to pass out. What if I don't wake up?" I also thought: "I don't want to hurt myself when I pass out." I knew both of these are very common things associated with passing out (especially the hurting yourself when falling thing.)

Once on the floor, I started feeling better (not surprising since my head was level with my body), and we made the decision to go to the ER. At this point, John was pretty convinced about what had/was happening, and he was correct. An ultrasound revealed the DVT and a CT the PE's.  

And now, I recover ...

... It was a scary event. The ultrasound on my leg revealed the DVT. At that point, John felt very confident that we would see PE's on the CT scan, and we did. I received a shot in my stomach right then which instantly goes to work thinning my blood. 

I spoke with John's co-doctor (Dr. Boggs). He felt confident that I was going to "be okay" and said that I could go home and recover. I will have to be on anticoagulants for three months, and I am battling anemia (probably not related but could be.) 

During this time, I cannot take any ibuprofen or Excedrin. Right now, my headaches have been VERY behaved. I am praying that they stay that way, as I am not sure how to battle migraines with just Tylenol. 

I am incredibly grateful for the friends near and far that have wound round about us during this time. Four close friends volunteered to fly/drive right away to see me. Our homeschool/ballet/family/church group was there instantly to do meals and help transport children. And my in-laws were, without a doubt, picking up the slack nearly instantly. 

I am currently VERY tired as I recover. John reminds me that all the "energy" in my body is going to fight off this bad guy. So I am resting and let it fight away.

I am reminded, yet again, that we are mortals. This life is but a vapor. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. We are not promised forever. And in this world of sin, there are crappy things like migraines which make you make tough decisions in how to handle. Sometimes you make the wrong decision. You continue to pray and trust the Lord. 

People with PE's can just fall over dead. I did not, praise the Lord. I am still here, and should make a full recovery. 

Praising Jesus for the miracle of another day. 

I love children

Recovering

I am recovering quite well. 

I get tired easily. I think this is truly just my body using its resources properly. It is fighting to heal me.

I am on a blood thinner for at least three months. This means I need to be very careful about accidents/injuries. I am also currently anemic. I think this has probably been going on for quite some time, and due to COVID and doctor's visits, I lost track of it. 

For the next week (at least), I can't do any farm work. My calf needs to heal up and dislodging that blood clot isn't advisable. So I'm gonna lay low and give my body time to heal that itself. Once that is better, I may be able to start doing some light farm work but nothing that could cause an injury.

Emotionally, this has been a lot to "stomach." I could have died, truthfully. It is hard to remember that we are mortals. It is hard to get old. You want to live forever. You want to see your kids grow up.

But, in truth, we are not promised tomorrow. Moments like this remind us that we are not immortal.

My in-laws gave me a necklace. It says: "It is Well With My Soul." One of my favorite hymns. So true. So thankful for a wise husband, great family, and friends (man do I have GREAT friends!), and just another day to live life.

In a moment ...

In a moment ... everything you think can come crashing down. 

In a moment on Sunday morning, John and I drove to the Emergency Room. He was the husband of a patient. As John explained to those we loved later: 

She's got a DVT (deep vein thrombosis) ... also know as a blood clot ... in her leg.

She's also got a PE (pulmonary embolism) ... a blood clot in the lungs.

Part of the blood clot in the leg broke up and traveled to (and gets stuck) in the lungs. 

This was caused by a combination of a long plane flight and possibly medicine she was on for her migraines. (The flight alone can cause this.) This was a known risk of the medicine; but her migraines were so bad, it was a risk we were willing to take. Fortunately, the medicine helped with the migraines, but unfortunately, the gamble was bad because she got a blood clot.

She's stopping that medicine (obviously), and she'll be on an anticoagulant medicine for the next 3 months or so, until her body breaks down the blood clots. 

There's lots more I can share about this experience, and as I usually do, I will probably do that through blogging and words. 

For now, I'm laying low and recovering.

There were lots of tears yesterday as I, especially, realized the gravity of the situation. Many people that have a PE, do not have warnings. They simply fall over, dead. 

I did not die. (Obviously.)

But the thought that I nearly did is very hard to digest. 

Your prayers are so appreciated,

Wendi

Sweetness

 

I am not sure ANYTHING in the world is sweeter than puppies. 

In the meantime, one thing I know is not sweeter than puppies is the FLU. We are pretty sure that all four kids got FLU A (or if not, something equally repulsive) while I was in California. John, who had already gotten his flu shot as a requirement for his job, only seemed to get marginally ill. I am not sure about me, but I have not felt great. Mostly just very rundown. The entire Kotynski clan went down like flies.

Back to sweet things ...

There are many wonderful things about the life we've carved out for ourselves here in Tennessee, but I am not sure how different that life would be if I had not "stumbled" upon CBT (Central Ballet Theater) when Abigail was just THREE (almost FOUR) years old.

In fact, I went back and found my VERY first email to Ms. LoriAnn in March of 2018. 

Tomorrow is our "annual" Pancake Breakfast. This is a fundraiser for the huge ballet production we do every January. While the kids have been sick, I've realized what a blessing CBT is to us. You forget when you are running hither and tither. You think: "I wish I didn't have to run so much." But then the girls miss a week for sickness and you can't help but think: "I'm so glad we have ballet. They'd not be the girls they are without it."

I am also now on the Board for our homeschool cooperative: Heritage Home Scholars.  They are equally sweet to me. Between our church and these two "places", John and I have "nailed down" our focus at least for the next decade. I have little doubt these two places will be a huge part of our life for the foreseeable future. 

And then? 

It will be time for new post-children sweetness. But for now, I'm so blessed to be in the community we are!

I’m a bad guy princess

Halloween at Harrison’s

While I was in California, our friends the Harrison’s had a Halloween party. We aren’t big into Halloween, but we let the three oldest kids go. (Sidge ended up cancelling due to not feeling well.) the kids put their own costumes together. Isaac (who is friends with their son Walker) went as a boxer. And Abigail went as a “nerd”. (She is friends with their second child, Ella.)

Some flashbacks

These are just a few fleeting flashbacks at some past Halloween adventures. While I was in California, all four kids got sick. It meant missing lots of things. Hannah missed ALL fun Halloween events …

… but God! 

He remembers even the smallest of things. While delivering eggs to my friend Catherine, her kids came out giving us tons of candy! They had too much. 

It’s just candy. 

But God cares!

Tuesday Truth

Tall people problems

When you have a bad leg cramp in a fancy little car, you throw yourself into the back seat and stick your foot out the moon roof!

Litter #6 on the farm!

I’m on my way home from five days in California. I left on Tuesday morning and am returning today — Saturday. 

Yesterday at 4pm, John and the Pomegranate got a “puppy count” at the vet. Eight! And then, this morning, Hannah wandered downstairs at 3am and there were already 3 little puppies present. The remaining five followed soon after, and it was an uneventful delivery. 

John is working today, and the four days I’ve been gone have been hard on everyone. My kiddos were really sick apparently. John wonders if it was the flu. Not sure. I’ve heard rumors half of ballet was gone today … we will find out more I am sure. 

I am excited to get back to everyone today. I had such an amazing time with Joni, and Erin, and Auntie Rita. I have tons of pictures to share! 

In California

I am currently in Thousand Oaks, California with my dear friend Erin, Grama Joni, and her sister Rita. What a wonderful time with three of the best humans I know. I’ll be sharing lots more pictures. Will also detail the adventure of riding a bike up something called “The Beast.” They should have told me the name before I agreed to go. 

My (not so lonely) fishing life

Last night, Sidge and Tijmen decided to go fishing. John told them (having just gotten off nights) that if they caught something, they'd have to clean it ... that he was out of helping due to fatigue. 

So the guys went fishing at our smaller pond (which we call "Superman" due to the shape of the pond.)

And they caught nothing. And while disappointed in their lack of catch, it was okay, since no one was really in the mood to clean fish. 

While the guys are out fishing, Anni texts me. Mr. Lloyd (their neighbor and surrogate "Grampa" was going to take her and Tristan fishing on our farm.) "Sounds good," I told her. "Go to Arrowhead (our bigger pond which, yes, looks like an arrowhead), as the guys are at Superman."

So they did. 

And as the guys came in telling us that they caught nothing, Anni shows up with the following in tow:

No one was really in the mood to process the fish, but since Tijmen is heading back to the Netherlands in two days, he could use the opportunity to work on his mad-fish-cleaning-skills. He "took one for the team" and decides to do the fish. Sidge says he will also try. Only neither of them could really do it without John.

So, my sleep-deprived husband enters the picture again, helping to clean the fish!

Tijmen did do a lot of the work, and John spiced it up and added bacon to it ... yum!!! I'm always amazed at how lonely I feared my life would be here, and how not lonely at all that it is. 

I also got this beautifully quiet video of the guys fishing as well!

Tijmen and the singing

Living

Here's the honest truth: 

Right now I am battling migraines something FIERCE.

I could get into a very long story of these things, all the things we've tried, my frustrations ... 

But instead, here's what I want to say.

Life is beautiful. Tijmen is here visiting us from the Netherlands, and seeing him loving the Lord brings me such joy. I've joined a Bible Study Fellowship online that is filled with beautiful women that look nothing like me in age or skin color or location lived. I am spiritually in a place with Jesus that I haven't been in a long time. I love my husband. Homeschooling my kids is so hard but so incredibly rewarding. The weather has been beautiful. Our farm is a lovely, joyful place. 

My head hurts SO badly, but I truly do find the most amazing things to be blessed by despite this very frustrating thing in my life. 

Dutchman

Everyone is excited that Tijmen is here! He is so a part of our family now. He is here for three weeks, and it is so wonderful to see him again and reconnect. The kids love him -- especially Hannah. Sidge is really enjoying fishing with him. We hate to see him go back to the Netherlands in a few days. :(

Launch Sunday at FCC Greeneville

Today we launched a third campus with our church: this one is at South Greene. We now have our main campus, North Geene, and South Geene. (Someday we’d like to get a campus near us in West Greene.)

(Hannah went with Kotynskis and Ana came with us today!)

A few sermon notes: 

1. Take  heart in God’s plans even when you can’t see where they’re going. 

2. Take heart to serve even when you can’t see the fruit. (Serving is always harder than you think it will be.) We are faithful to do what God calls us to do, and He controls the growth. God doesn’t ask us to make those decisions on our faithfulness. He merely asks us to everyday, being, faithful servants, 

3. Take heart to engage, even when you can’t see the peace. The constant drama over the last 2.5 years since Covid began, is a perfect storm that encourages us to stay away from any conflict. But it’s never been what you can control. It’s about staying the course.