Learning a lot about TRUST

Oh boy, has this "dip" been a learning experience. I hate to think that more are coming in my future, but I am beginning to understand that I spent decades not really feeling. Now I am feeling and that means PAIN. And that pain means GROWTH. 

I'm growing. 

My anxiety tells me numerous things: 

You aren't good enough.

You need to hustle to prove yourself. 

You need to fear man. 

Someone not liking you will KILL you. 

If there isn't complete harmony, you can't be at peace. 

Pleasing man is WAY more important than God. 

Don't speak truth. Someone might not like it!

Don't risk someone upset at you. 

But my anxiety was trained to do this. And it was trained WRONG. Here's what I am learning to tell it instead:   

I am safe. 

People won't harm me. 

God is the most important. 

I can do hard things. 

God's truth is the most important thing. 

I won't die. 

I am worthy. 

I am worthy of more than people's crumbs. 

I am a really cool person!

Lot's of learning to reprogram my brain to believe these things. My wiring tells me otherwise. EMDR and working through the new things I am learning are telling me otherwise!

Galatians 1:10

"For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10

How can I be more bold to confess the truth of God to others despite of what they may think or say? 

Man's approval is fickle. There will always be someone you are not pleasing. It is clearly impossible to please everyone all the time. It's also exhausting!

Please God is loving him with all your might, soul, and strength. What about whole-hearted love of others that isn't concerned with their approval?

His yoke is easy!

God of truth and light. You are good and you are worthy of all my praise. I confess that I sometimes put other people before you. I aim to be likable more than I aim to be godly. Help me to bold in sharing your gospel. Do not let me fear the disapproval or even HATRED of other people.  

Love God. 

Love others.

That's the gospel boiled down to its essentials.   

  

Being Brave

You've been hurt. But you don't have to LIVE hurt! Lysa TerKeurst

Being brave is not always something you feel. It’s something you do.

You do it in the face of fear and unknown outcomes and risks you don’t really want to take.

You do it when your enemy is staring you down with taunting statements of defeat. You do it not to prove there’s something great inside of you. You do it because if you don’t something will die inside of you.

You do brave things because it’s time to rise up and speak up and let truth find its freedom with your voice.

What knocked you down won’t keep you down. What happened was wrong. Acknowledge it. Speak it. Cry over it.

But don’t die over it. You’ve been hurt but you don’t have to live hurt.

You do brave things because you were made to connect. Not with all people but with that right people.

Take the right risks. Take it slow. But don’t stop. Don’t withdraw. Don’t disappear.

You do brave things because you are a woman who can kneel humbly and rise intentionally. You will find good people and good people will find you.

And you’ll do brave until you become brave.

You’ll know love again.

You’ll know laughter again.

And you’ll know deep in your bones that you won’t waste all that you’ve learned. Those spilled tears? Every one of them was you letting go of the pain to make room for possibility.

Your life is not a tragedy. It’s a testimony that God is your Rock and your Redeemer. And if your hands are shaking let it be only because you’re pointing at the devil who picked the wrong girl to mess with this time.

Don’t wait until you feel brave. Go be brave. Remember, if God is for you there is nothing that can stand against you.