The truth is, I am really doing great. I miss her. I miss her friendship. I miss her random stories. I miss her interacting with the kids.
But we knew it wouldn't be forever. It was time for her to go home. And it was time for me to tackle this mom thing without having her in the wings. I couldn't have her forever. Even though I wish I could.
I've come up with many strategies to help fill the void left by Veronica, including:
- Having Hatice come in every other Thursday (her only current free time) to help.
- Using Hatice to help me with the kids when I need it instead of cleaning. (Ex: taking all three to the doctor at once. No could do. Hatice came with and skipped cleaning the upstairs.)
- Farming out the boys. Every Wednesday Sarahbee and Stebbs each take a kiddo so Abigail and I can run errands or just lay low.
- Loving Logan. The kids love her too. Her hubby is deployed and her job just expired. So she has been coming on Fridays for a few hours. She plays with the boys, Abigail sleeps, and I try to get some things done around the house that I have been putting off all week.
- Giving myself permission to put on an extra movie if I need it. I try to keep TV to less than one hour a day. But if things are crazy, and I just can't get my bearings, Go Diego Go or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse can entertain the boys while Abigail needs tending or I need to go to the bathroom or take a shower.
- The days that I need the van. This has happened lately because we are in the rainy season. It will rain here for days on end. When it rains, I can't walk to things I need to do on Base so I need the van. JB can't walk because it's raining. So I have to load up all the kids and drop him off, pick him up for lunch, and pick up again after work. Sometimes he can get a ride from a coworker, but not always. We used to just have Veronica or me take him in and the other one stay with the kids. Can't do that anymore.
- Showers. I find two days has gone by without me taking a shower sometimes. By the time we put the kids to bed, I often collapse on my bed and read and fall asleep early. When I wake up in the morning I realize I haven't showered but things are already in action.
- Leaving one behind. The last thing I really miss is being able to leave one child (primarily Abigail) with Veronica so I could take the boys somewhere. I miss that time with them. I miss not having to take all three kids to everything I did or we as a couple did. I don't have a car during the day (unless I take JB in) so to take all three kids I have to have the boys ride their bikes and put Abigail in the stroller or put the boys in the stroller and Abigail in the Bjorn. I miss having the optionto avoid that, especially when Abigail was just sleeping.
- Exercise. I haven't gotten a new exercise routine down yet either. I used to run with stroller and dog. But I can't do that now. I plan to regroup on this when I get to Florida.
- Bed time. JB and I both miss "V" at bedtime. She could help with baths or dinner or Scrubs or anything. With just the two of us and the kids usually wanting to go down at the same time, it can be a little busy. We can totally handle it. But another set of hands was very helpful. It also allowed me to do something around bedtime. But now, we have to make sure we are both home at this time of night.