A Covid Reflection

Covid has been hard for me lately.

I struggle.

Years from now I want to remember ...

What do I want to remember? 

I want to remember:

togetherness.

nature.

staying home.

An absence of people coming and going.

An absence of visitors.

An absence of traveling. 

Beauty.

Seasons.

Our ... family.

The Kotysnkis.

The Grandparents.

Jacob.

Anni (from afar) ...

I'll remember zooming ballet and piano and karate.

 

But we all know that there is more.

And without remembering the hard ...

is it remembering?

It's hard watching others moving on

and knowing that you are being instructed to

stay.

 

It's been long.

Months.

I miss hugging my friends without thinking about it.

I miss watching my children playing without worrying.

I miss being with groups.

I miss seeing people's smiles.

 

I also wish that my husband didn't have to think about this every single time he leaves our house. I wish he didn't have to come in through the bathroom when he comes home. I wish he didn't have to listen to someone cuss him out because they are waiting too long. That there wasn't a threat with weapons when people get stressed. When he wasn't yelled and called "a backwards southerner." We haven't entered the ER to visit him since the beginning of the year. We used to go all the time. Now we don't. Covid is constantly at the front of our minds.

It is very important for me that people know this:

We

are

not

afraid

of

COVID.

And yet because of the choices we make, some people think that.

And I can't control what others think.

We have four reasons why we are quarantining as we are:

1. Our Grama who is high-risk
2. Our Isaac who has asthma
3. Our John who is paid hourly and doesn't get paid if he doesn't work
4. Our community that needs John to be there

Some people can't quarantine.

Others don't need to.

Some don't want to.

Some are selfish.

Some are simply clueless.

But we are all doing what we have to do to try and slow this virus down.

In the last few weeks, the numbers have begun climbing nearly everywhere. It's hard to believe that so many months after this all began, we may be tightly quarantined again.

In the meantime,

This week I thank the Lord for friends that stood beside me this week.

A nurse who had a very great intellectual conversation with me.

A peer who sat and prayed with me.

A fellow Mama who sent me a text message I've read dozens of times. 

A get-together with an "old" friend.

Who can I reach out to today, 

To make COVID better for them?