For those of you who read my Blog, you must remember that I am the painter. However, I am still allowing my life to be painted in the colors that I choose. Some people think that because I write a Blog, and because they read the Blog, they understand my life.
I try to keep it real. I really do. But there are still many things that never make into onto a page. They are the details inside my heart. Details inside my mind. The nuances of what makes me who I am. The aspects that weave my family together.
I've been battling for a few weeks now, and this past week it really came to a head for me. I've had difficulties with anxiety and depression in my past that I haven't been shy in talking about, and unfortunately, they have reared their ugly head again for me. I am fighting it on a spiritual, physical, and mental aspect, and I'm doing well. Both are plaguing me, but the anxiety is trying to debilitate me.
I am still in a very "functioning" place -- far from the depths that I have found myself in the past. I, as always, think I won't write about this. But truly I feel that is not honest. With myself. Or with the people that I choose to write and share with.
I could really use some extra prayers as I try to maneuver myself back to ... myself. I am so blessed by the people God has brought alongside me ... to stand with me and help me and encourage me and pray for me and with me.
And in the meantime, I will continue to try to keep it real.
If we all keep it real then we can hopefully never feel like we are the only one.
Lifting you up in prayer. Thank you for being real.
Wendi, I have just recently started taking CBD oil for my auto-immune pain. It has relieved nearly all of my pain, but it has also lifted my depression and anxiety. I haven't had a panic attack in about a month now. I feel very in control of my emotions...almost a zen calmness. (And I went ROCK CLIMBING on our camping trip on Saturday and I'm not on my back for three days straight from the exertion to my joints!) Not to mention, my IBS symptoms have been tamped down quite a bit as well. Google Charlotte's Web oil. Talk to John about it. It might be a tool in hand to help you as well. It has improved my quality of life by spades! In the meantime, I'll be praying over your all around wellness. Life is chaotic and hard. You're not alone. Love you lady!
I hear you; it's been hard to find any joy and peace in every day happenings for months. Hoping and praying that things get better for you, friend. xo.
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