tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468282.post7287235810635505976..comments2024-03-13T03:59:42.108-05:00Comments on Daily Blog: Why We Won't Do SleepoversWendi Kitsteinerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05515018912328000746noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468282.post-11499398510194594102016-01-24T05:23:34.185-06:002016-01-24T05:23:34.185-06:00Nope! Totally my new post. But I am sure the senti...Nope! Totally my new post. But I am sure the sentiments have been expressed by others elsewhere!Wendi Kitsteinerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05515018912328000746noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468282.post-58722532920390659352016-01-24T00:17:26.895-06:002016-01-24T00:17:26.895-06:00Is this a republished post, I completely feel like...Is this a republished post, I completely feel like I've read it before! Yet still true, and same opinions here! Creative Madness Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04624307445826234960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468282.post-72257516712549810132016-01-15T19:41:19.049-06:002016-01-15T19:41:19.049-06:00Ann, I had a similar thing occur with a neighbor&#...Ann, I had a similar thing occur with a neighbor's dad. I was terrified of him. Years later I found out he had attempted to harm someone else I knew. So scary!Wendi Kitsteinerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05515018912328000746noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468282.post-29534018730063840902016-01-15T18:47:09.789-06:002016-01-15T18:47:09.789-06:00Wendi- completely agree with you!! Even though my...Wendi- completely agree with you!! Even though my 3 girls are still age two and under, my husband and I have already started talking about this. I had a friend in 5th grade who had me over for numerous sleepovers... Long story short, I believe it is by the grace of God that her father never molested me because I'm pretty sure he was molesting her. I had no clue about that back then (and I had parents who were very involved and probably over protective but they knew the mother so well that they let me.) I think 30 years ago, this kind of thing was just not at the forefront of people's minds like it is now... Anyway, all I have to do is think back to that house and that's enough for me to keep my girls home and away from sleepovers.Annhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00944693728726229087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468282.post-19491698245645191602016-01-15T13:00:04.187-06:002016-01-15T13:00:04.187-06:00Bonnie, that is a relevant topic as well although ...Bonnie, that is a relevant topic as well although I agree -- out here in the country, EVERYONE has a gun and asking that question is a probably wise. (Although truly people are so much more responsible with weapons in the country in my opinion.)Wendi Kitsteinerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05515018912328000746noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468282.post-4961471387274388632016-01-15T10:48:53.575-06:002016-01-15T10:48:53.575-06:00I'm a proud 'fuddy-duddy' right there ...I'm a proud 'fuddy-duddy' right there with ya! I saw some of these articles and basically adopted the same stance for my son and daughter. There may be some exceptions, but generally we will not do sleepovers. <br /><br />Another topic I'm very sensitive to is guns in the house. I might be 'that crazy mom', but I do intend to ask if there are guns in the house before letting my kids go over to play. If there are, then whether they are locked and secured. There have been too many incidents and recent articles about access to guns, both for young kids and for tweens and teens, and innocent accidents (or intentional teen issues). I am not totally opposed to guns, we had some safely locked growing up in a rural area, but many many people are not as safe with them as they think, especially these days. I'm sorry if I opened another can of worms, but I think it's sort of a related topic - and I'm sure it's one you encounter in a rural area too (though again, rural folks tend to be a little more cognizant and safe).<br /><br />Thank you as always for good discussion and 'realness'!Bonnie Leighnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468282.post-49659917777520591222016-01-15T10:35:30.108-06:002016-01-15T10:35:30.108-06:00Jennifer, this is a good question. In general, I t...Jennifer, this is a good question. In general, I think the decision to "go wild" in college is a child's to make and is not a result of limited activities as a child. I had friends who went wild in college and they were wild in high school. I had friends who were sheltered in high school and they remained non wild in college. I really think it is more teaching our kids WHY we don't let them have sleepovers. Adults don't have sleepovers and I think telling them that it is a bad idea in college is good too. I want to teach my kiddos that putting themselves in a situation where someone can do something 'bad" to them is to be avoided at all costs. So in other words, I don't plan to limit it based on age. However, I WOULD consider limiting it based on the family. If the perfect family lived next door, there might be times for a bit of alteration but it has to be a case by case basis.<br /><br />That was a pretty all over the place answer. :)Wendi Kitsteinerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05515018912328000746noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468282.post-52019821385578521512016-01-15T09:17:42.451-06:002016-01-15T09:17:42.451-06:00So glad you wrote this as my husband and I have ma...So glad you wrote this as my husband and I have made the same decision and it is so hard since most people still think it is okay. We are also very watchful on which houses we let our kids go and play at in the neighborhood. This makes it hard because some we feel comfortable at and others not. Takes lot of prayer.<br />We are thinking that maybe by high school we will start limited spending the night as we don't want them going wild once they are free for college. What are your thoughts on age?Jenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01388468688754715480noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468282.post-44489156999233005332016-01-15T06:08:59.595-06:002016-01-15T06:08:59.595-06:00Thank you very much for the comments regarding tee...Thank you very much for the comments regarding teen girls and women. In our childhood, we experienced abuse by a girl as well and that is definitely something to note. Thank you for your candor and honesty. Very good point.Wendi Kitsteinerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05515018912328000746noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468282.post-45091365090240738922016-01-15T02:35:06.667-06:002016-01-15T02:35:06.667-06:00Totally agree with the above commenters about need...Totally agree with the above commenters about needing to take precautions about women and girls as well. I know many people (including my husband and one of my brothers) who were sexually abused by women who were well-known to the family and trusted. In fact, I was sexually abused by a slightly older girl whil playing at her house. Her mother was at home, but we were allowed to play unsupervised in the playroom. I did not report the abuse, so it doesn't show up in the statistics, but sexual abuse by women and girls is just as real and just as dangerous. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468282.post-552014195456517872016-01-15T00:06:03.991-06:002016-01-15T00:06:03.991-06:00Please do NOT limit this to MALE predators. I was ...Please do NOT limit this to MALE predators. I was abused- brutally- sexually, physically and emotionally for 17 years by my father's mother.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468282.post-89843718373468972232016-01-14T22:00:49.718-06:002016-01-14T22:00:49.718-06:00My OCD will not let me leave repurcussions-I have ...My OCD will not let me leave repurcussions-I have to fix it to repercussions. My<br />spellcheck let me down! :0)Alicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05873051359828842607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468282.post-12750874535056610472016-01-14T21:58:14.763-06:002016-01-14T21:58:14.763-06:00I totally agree with everything you said. We have ...I totally agree with everything you said. We have four boys, ages 11-2. We also have strict rules about sleepovers. If it keeps my kids safe, I don't care one bit what other parents think of our choices. The lifelong repurcussions of even one incident are terrifying. I'd much rather be "too strict" and prevent something awful from happening than too lenient and have to deal with the aftermath. I think you and JB have made a wise decision.Alicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05873051359828842607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468282.post-84618223428977324682016-01-14T21:37:23.842-06:002016-01-14T21:37:23.842-06:00I completely agree with you...Our family has the s...I completely agree with you...Our family has the same rules. We are a foster family and have teen boys, so I am VERY cautious about protecting their reputation. It only takes one accusation! We are also very careful to protect our children from pornography. Many children are exposed while at a friends house. Like you, we have allowed some sleepovers, but they are definitely the exception and not the rule. We do offer "late nights" occasionally. This is when the child is allowed to stay over and play until "late" but then goes home to sleep in their own bed.Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07875337259263476400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468282.post-65614866285615045392016-01-14T21:27:38.459-06:002016-01-14T21:27:38.459-06:00Oops--that should have said "if you're as...Oops--that should have said "if you're assuming that by keeping unfamiliar males away from your kids, you're ensuring their safety, you're missing half the population of predators."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468282.post-3743362260200307402016-01-14T21:25:13.651-06:002016-01-14T21:25:13.651-06:00Also a mental health counselor here, and want to s...Also a mental health counselor here, and want to say absolutely do what you need to do, but if you're assuming that by keeping unfamiliar males away from your kids, you're missing half the population of predators. The accounts of sexual abuse by females eclipses those by males by a long shot, and are generally more horrific. Women are not necessarily safe just because they're female. In fact, that assumption allows many predators access to children because who's going to suspect another mom? Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14468282.post-39346558329850273762016-01-14T20:52:39.245-06:002016-01-14T20:52:39.245-06:00Agree! I have worked as a mental health counselor ...Agree! I have worked as a mental health counselor for 13 years, most of that time with children and teens.... I cannot even tell you the amount of times I have called the Department of Children and Families (DCF) to report abuse, often sexual.... Often child on child and it has always been, whether the perpetrator was an adult or another child, someone that the victim already knew.<br /><br />We are very limiting with our sleepovers and play dates too... Because as a therapist, just like a doctor,you can't unhear what you hear and you can't unseen what you have seen. Once you really see and learn what is happening out there, you realize that it is disturbing and it is terrifying. We have spent hours talking with our son and teaching him how to speak out if something happens and what is appropriate and what is not so that he is not clueless if he's ever in an unsafe situation.<br /><br />Do what you think is right for your kids... Who cares what anyone else thinks.Susienoreply@blogger.com